And so...

I am conscious of the fact that it has been about 2 weeks since my last update ! (*shock horror!*) Now I also know that in reality 2 weeks isn't a very long time, but in the life of a year-teamer it feels like a very long time, in the sense that a lot happens in 2 weeks !

I am doing well. Highlights of the last week include: meeting up with Lois to chat about how year team stuff is going (tuesday), chatting with lots of freshers yesterday at student lunch, being asked to and then playing in the Devotion band yesterday, and certain 'in-jokes' involving lots of foam (see Rhys' blog). All in all, a good week. But you know the feeling when you get to the weekend and think 'well, what now ?'. When you get so caught up in planning a week, and making sure you know where you're meant to be when, that when it gets to the end of that time frame for which you have planned you feel a bit flat. That's not to say next week won't be great. I know I'll learn a lot more (seems to be a theme at the moment - though acting on stuff is more tricky), and I'll spend time with a few more friends who I haven't seen properly for a while, but I just need to try to make some space this weekend in the midst of all the running around I'm so good at doing just to reflect !

p.s. we're getting internet soon !!!!!!!!!! Goodbye internet cafe !

Whose fool are you ?

Take two of the really deep sainsburys trolleys, two year teamers (plus one other helper), one shopping list for student barbaques, 1 and 1/2 hours and what have you got...? It was highly entertaining doing the shopping for the last of the student welcome barbaques yesterday. We got some interesting looks and it felt rather amusing pushing so much stuff around sainsburys. To give you an idea...30 boxes of burgers, 8 packs of ham, 8 of chicken slices, one huge block of cheese, 100 doughnuts, 7 of those 24 multipack bags of crisps....and the list goes on. I've never bought so much food all at once ! It brought to mind the words of John Wimber when he said 'I'm a fool for Christ, whose fool are you ?' (I am sure that this year will bring plenty more opportunities to discover the meaning of that phrase !) The amusing amount of food we were buying did provide us with an amazing opportunity to explain to people what it was all this food was for and what we were doing. Am looking forward to student lunch shopping every week (although, hopefully those quantities won't be quite so high !)

Fresher's week went well overall I think, despite the rain towards the end of the week. Lots of students came to the barbaques; I enjoyed meeting new people as well as catching up with friends, in between running around like a mad thing or playing guitar. Was great fun playing some songs with Colse on thursday and friday as the 'live music'. Even more fun though was watching the Wrayster, Colse and Mr Dave Mitchell jamming some blues together at one point ! (I have photographic evidence to prove it). They sounded really, really good :-)

Here's hoping next week will be as good, but will somehow involve more sleeping and less running around (well, after my essay for tuesday gets somehow finished that is !)

p.s. to those who have written me e-mails and other things - thank you so much and I will reply at some point, when I have a little more time ! I'm not just ignoring you. (To say I have been busy this last week is a little bit of an understatement ! Good busy though.)

Update and new caption competition !

Hi everyone, yes I'm in the internet cafe again. Have had an interesting week. I really loved helping out with creches on wed and thurs this week at Henleaze over lunchtime - the kids are great, and as Rhys can testify I had great fun dressing up as a ladybird for them yesterday ! On wednesday though I hadn't previously been aware that it was possible to feel quite so exhausted ! (I imagine that it's going to be a common feeling this year). I was at Henleaze all morning (left the flat at 8.20am) got back about 2ish (?) and straight away we went to help with set up for the Alpha supper. I then got back to the flats at about 11.30ish pm, and the only break I had was about 45 mins at 5.30 to have a shower to try to de-greasify myself after having been stripping chickens a lot of the afternoon ! I slept well that night !!! Looking forward to fresher's week next week, having friends back for the start of term and also being able to welcome new students. Don't ask me how Steve managed to rope me into agreeing to play some songs as part of the 'live music' though !!!

Just before I go, may I point your attention towards a new caption competition by Rhys. I await the suggestions with interest !

Oh, and one more thing...I'm about to send out the first of my 'gap year' 'prayer newsletters'. I there is anyone reading this who doesn't receive it who would like to then let me know, praps in the comments section. Thanks.

No Matter What

At the moment you'll probably all be able to tell when I'm on the internet as I'll leave a small blog post ! I can't really sum up all that's been going on, so I won't try. But this song was played during 'response time' this past sunday morning in the Family Service at Woodies Central and it just really struck me. Although I haven't been able to tell anyone this (but I guess now the whole world knows due to my blog) I was really struggling on sunday morning. It was my first sunday on duty and I was absolutely terrified. Also, you know those times when you're surrounded by people, yet you still feel incredibly lonely ? Well, throughout the day and week and this song, God's just been reminding me of His amazing faithfulness; that how NO MATTER how I'm feeling, He's the same, consistent, reliable, trustworthy, so good and I can thank Him for so many things. I want to be a person who learns more to chose to praise Him at all times.

"When the sun is bright, when the sky is blue
When it's all alright, I will praise You
When life seems to go like I want it to
Things are as I'd hoped, I will praise You

Through the sun, through the rain
You never change
You are so worthy
I'll lift Your name
And no matter what I'm going through
I will praise You

When it's raining hard, when it's all gone wrong
I'll still sing this song, I will praise You
When I've been promised things that aren't happening
And I'm still waiting, I will praise You

I will, I will, I will praise You
I will, I will, I will praise You"
-Jodie Frye

Defining the word 'safe'

I started reading The Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy again over the summer (mainly because when my brother started reading it and asking me things about it, I realised how little of it I actually remembered !) Such a random and hilarious book. I'd recommend it to anyone who hasn't read it yet. Some classic quotes, but I think some of my current favourite quotes from the first book have to be (which I thought I'd share):

(When Arthur and Ford have hitched a ride just as the Earth was about to be blown up.)
"If I asked you where the h*** we were," said Arthur weakly, "would I regret it ?"
Ford stood up. "We're safe," he said.
"Oh good," said Arthur.
"We're in a small galley cabin," said Ford, "in one of the spaceships of the Vogan Constructor Fleet."
"Ah," said Arthur, "this is obviously some strange usage of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of."


"Ford was holding up a small glass jar which quite clearly had a small yellow fish wriggling around in it. Arthur blinked at him. He wished there was something simple and recognisable he could grasp hold of. He would have felt safe if alongside the Dentrassi underwear, the piles of Sqornshellous mattresses and the man from Betelgeuse holding up a small yellow fish and offering to put it in his ear he had been able to see just a small packet of corn flakes. But he couldn't, and he didn't feel safe." :-D

I'm still alive !

I survived my first week and a bit as a year teamer :-) Am sitting in this internet cafe again (hopefully we'll get internet at some point !) and thought I'd therefore better post a quick post ! I'm fairly tired, and there are certain challenges already presenting themselves, but am enjoying things too. I do feel like I know the other year teamers a bit better now, especially after our retreat last week (- for some reason, chocolate brownies taste better when eaten off cocktail sticks, not sure why!) And I'm enjoying spending lots of time with them. The flats are getting a bit busier now, with more people moving in. I also start my placements this week, one of which is helping at Devotion (yaaay !) and we start the Mullers theology course tomorrow. So it's all going ok...just some more sleep is required at the moment, so this post is gonna be short (not sure whether it's that sweet) so I can go and get some food and then some sleep ! Longer more rambly posts will follow once I'm more awake :-)

p.s. anyone around in Bristol tomorrow evening, we're having a pirate party in the woodies student flats (to celebrate 'national talk-like-a-pirate day!) So feel free to drop by - 7.30 onwards, fancy dress optional but preferred !

A new chapter

So...having said I'd be off internet a while (!), I'm sitting here in this internet cafe (in some of my time off) having had my first morning of being an official 'Year Teamer' trying to get my head around all that has been happening in the last few days and how I can possibly sum it all up in a blog post! I think maybe the best way to sum it all up is by saying that God is so good !!! Before I got back to Bristol yesterday, to say I was a little scared was an understatement ! But getting back, God just helped everything to go so much more smoothly than I could ever have hoped for. Just little things - like the way I was offered a lift up from the station; the way my room has such an amazing view over a large amount of Bristol ( a view which I don't think I'll ever get over - I spent a good deal of time yesterday night just staring out of the window and watching the lights and stars awestruck); the way I was expecting to find it hard reintegrating into Bristol life but I just felt like I was coming home (my second home) from the minute I got here and throughout the Woodies evening service; the way the evening service yesterday touched on EXACTLY the same things which had been being prayer over me in our morning service back home; the way I keep bumping into people I know in the oddest of places; the way Lois and the other year teamers are so great...I could go on ! Since I made this decision another major worry has been whether I had done the right thing or not. But especially this morning at the staff meeting, I had a great encouragment that it was the right thing (if there is such a thing) and that God IS with me, and IS going to do amazing things this year. So, despite being currently fairly tired and overwhelmed a little, I'm really excited and don't know how I can contain it ! (Need to find a guitar to borrow methinks). Am looking forward to the many joys and the many challenges ahead of me.

This Year...

I know that I have just sent many of you who will be reading this a rambly mass e-mail, but for the sake of my blog let me repeat myself a little: Well everyone, I can now confirm that I will be in Bristol this year. In fact, I am moving back tomorrow. (Hence my current mad rush to finish sorting things out and the interesting-ness of trying to work out how I’m going to fit everything I need for 2-3 weeks – minimum- of self-catered living into the number of bags I can carry on a train without falling over. Those of you who know my tendency to always want to pack lots of stuff will realise how much of a challenge this is ! And I think I may be sleeping in a sleeping bag for a while !) Anyway…I’m rambling (again)…A few of you reading this will probably know, but some will be wondering how it is I have finally decided to spend this year: I am going to be part of the year team at Woodies this year !

Many of you who are likely to read this go to Woodies anyway and so will know (probably better than me) what this will entail, but for those who don’t…in short it’s a kind-of gap year programme (voluntary) where as part of a team you get to help out with loads of different things around the church, do some exciting church cleaning (Woo!), and we also get to attend a theology course which is run on Tuesday each week at Mullers. Developing one’s servant heart.

I am excited, but also very daunted too as it’s finally hitting me what I’ve gotten myself into and how soon I start. I know that I can’t do this year by myself and in my own strength, so continued prayer is still much appreciated, especially as I am settling back into Bristol and into a new routine of things next week.

I may be offline now for a fair time while I am settling in and until the internet gets sorted out in the Woodies Flats where I’ll be living (see Ruthie’s LJ). But those in Bristol I shall hope to catch up with some of you soon ! And hopefully I shall be able to write more thought-provoking (hopefully) posts soon, rather than just updates of what’s going on in the world of Ro ! (Interesting though they may be of course ! Umm…)

Sorry, the US and other things...

First of all, let me just say sorry to those of you who have been waiting for an account of my trip to the US (if there are any such people)...I hadn't forgotten, just have been rather preoccupied this week: what with trying to get over jetlag and swollen tonsils as well as trying to sort out next year (which is in a way moving rather fast but also proving fairly complex). Next year wise, I have made a decision of sorts, but don't feel able to say anything much here yet since there are still things to sort out. I will let you know in due course. But I can say that it is highly probable that I will be in Bristol for at next year at least.

Anyway...I should say that the US was amazing (although it feels rather a long time ago now, due to this being a rather long and very up-and-down week). We were there 3 weeks, 1 week in California, 1 week in Arizona and 1 week in Nevada (Las Vegas). All good weeks, but very different in their own ways. The US has some really amazing scenery, and seeing the Grand Canyon as well as all the other amazing formations in that area was truly amazing, and can't be described in words. The Grand Canyon is 270 miles around the rim, 10miles across and 1 mile down. Standing on the rim, you really begin to understand what the word breathtaking means ! Normally with these things, you'd say that it has to be seen to be believed, but in this case, I couldn't really take it in or believe it even when there ! Las Vegas feels a little like a giant theme park - down the main boulevard (The Strip) there are a large number of hotels/casinos, may of which have specific themes. You could spend longer than a week looking round them all ! Very bizarre driving down the road and seeing New York, complete with Statue of Liberty, then Paris complete with Eiffel Tower, Venice, a Roman Palace, a Circus, a Medieval Castle...! Sorry for being brief, but I couldn't even fully describe what we saw if I wrote a really mammoth post !

I'd better go for now. Won't be around (again) the next few weeks as I'm away (again). But I've very much appreciated reading other people's blogs, even if I haven't found the time to comment, so thank you. Good to hear all the news and know how people are doing. Those of you in Bristol, I will hopefully see you in September. In the meantime...any Christian friends of mine reading this, I would greatly appreciate prayer at the moment for everything I have to sort out for next year, in particular for help finding housing for next year, and also for God to be preparing me for September. Thanks :-)

Driving - Wooo !

Just come back from my second 2hr driving lesson ! Very tired, and a lot to try and remember, but I did a lot today ! I got up into third gear (=bout 30mph). Roundabouts, traffic lights, speed bumps, traffic queue, lots of turns, and I even got to drive us back to my house on the main roads ! Wow. It's not quite so scary once you're doing it - or rather it is, but in a different way from how I expected, cause you just get thrown into doing it, and don't have time to think and not want to drive, cause you have to ! Changing up gear isn't too bad either, I just still don't like going down again ! I also did stall several times at traffic lights, but still - not tooo bad. Everyone has to start learning at some point :-)

p.s. I haven't forgotten - proper description of holiday will come soon, just when I'm not so tired and have a little more time.

RE: It's official

"The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be"
-Switchfoot

As people may have guessed, I am now back in the UK for a little while (as of sunday middayish, but since then have been feeling very jetlagged and only now feel like doing anything really). Since being away, I have gotten into the band Switchfoot a lot - another band I now highly recommend for those of you who like music with a slightly more rocky edge (see my myspace profile page for a link to their myspace). I love their songs: amazing words and music ! The words above state how I feel every day - that there is so much I could be, but that that is so different from the reality of who I actually am, and that frustrates me so much (probably a good thing it does, but uncomfortable none the less). As I said in my other post, as I see more and more, I see more of my weaknesses. But I'm also learning that I'm not going to change them by myself (believe me, I've tried. Tho that doesn't mean I have nothing to do!) I'll only change, not by merely struggling to be a better person and to ignore things, but only by looking to Jesus and who He is, and allowing Him to transform me. I just have to keep looking at Him. (Far easier said than done though).

"Everyday, I see more of Your greatness.
Everyday, I know more of my weakness Lord.
And I can only hope that I'll be changed.
Even as I look upon Your face.

For the eyes of my heart are on You forever,
They're on You forever"
-Matt Redman

More shameless toilet humour

One more post, to leave you with before I really do go. Some of you may remember the first post with this title "Shameless Toilet Humour"on Jammin's blog. Well, this is a follow up...kinda...I saw this sign in the Ladies Toilet in a service station on the way to Bristol yesterday, and just had to take a picture. Unlike the pic on Jammin's blog, I really did take this one, and I think this campaign was deliberate, lol. Enjoy !!!

It's official !

Well, I am now officially a graduate from Bristol University ! Yesterday we went up to Bristol for the day for the ceremony etc. It felt a little surreal at times- I don't think it's yet sunk in (still) that I've finished. Plus, everything went so fast, in a bit blurr, and were so many people I wanted to say hi to...It was great to see course mates again (most of them had come), although for some reason it didn't feel like it had been nearly 2 months since I've seen most of them. I have some nice photos from the day, plus a swish DVD of the ceremony (since anything before I went up on the stage I didn't really take in anything, due to being so scared !)

The speech at the end made me think a lot, especially when he started talking about us taking a moment to look back at the people we were when we came to Bristol, and the people we are now. It's funny, cause in myself I don't feel like I've changed - coming back home I still have the same weaknesses and struggles that I did before, and although I'm maybe more aware of some of them now, I don't feel like I've gained much ground. But then, I think I probably have changed. When I think back over all the experiences I've had these 3 years and all the amazing people I've met, not to mention all the things I've done - many of which I wouldn't have even contemplated before uni, but was able to do with the support of good friends, I think that I probably have changed, even if I'm myself not aware of it.

Anyway...reflection over for the minute...I must now sign off blogger for a while, as I'm going away for a few weeks. I have a few things to sort out and the small matter of packing to think about before then, but I will be back, and will post an update then. Take care everyone. x

"A head for trouble"

Before I get into this blog post properly, can I just ask: does anyone like my new and updated myspace profile ?!! (I know the guys may not be a huge fan of the colour but it kinda matches my blog now, which is what I wanted.) Also, it now has a proper URl, to make finding it slightly easier.

Anyway...the real reason for this post, is to ask whether anyone else read the above titled article in last week's Sunday Times Magazine ? I read it, and was a bit confused by it, and if anyone else has read it I would appreciate comments/thoughts/opinions etc. It's one of those articles which when you read you know that there is probably some truth in but there also feels to be something not quite right either but you can't put your finger on it...or at least that's how I felt.

Do have a read (I hope the link works). Basically it's saying are we really responsible for our actions or is what we do already predetermined by the wiring of our brains ? To further expand, I have chosen a few select quotes from the article:

"The laws of most societies assume moral decisions are made in the conscious, rational mind. But an influential number of brain researchers disagree. They point to cases like that of Mr C to argue that it is not people, or minds, that commit bad acts, but their brains."

"Arguably, liars, thieves, murderers and paedophiles and Good Samaritans, are not bad or good - just 'different', their brains having disposed them to behaviour outside the moral norm."

The religious doctrines of original sin - meaning that we are prone to prefer wrong by nature - conscience and free will have been eroded by rationalism, science and secularism over the past two centuries, yet a powerful belief in responsibility for our actions remains".

"Philosophers, too, have long suggested that personal responsibility is an illusion"

"'Some of the seven deadly sins' claims Tancredi, 'have already been shown to be affected by biological factors in varying degrees, and in some cases, the individual may have little power or free will to prevent them from happening.'"

"'Your sense of personal identity and free will are in fact no more than the behaviour of a vast assembly of nerve cells and their associated molecules.'"

Now, I have no doubt in my mind that God can and does use the natural laws He created, and that it is possible (tho this may be a contreversial thing to say) that this brain wiring thing is correct, and that when we come to God and become "new creations" he changes something in our internal wiring? Maybe spiritual blindness is not merely a picture but also has a basis in physiology ? Perhaps this is merely the debate about science vs religeon in a new form, which people are only just beginning to think about, and that it is again an issue of their being no real conflict, but that this new neuroscience and what the Bible says are just saying respectively how and why. (These are only my current thoughts on the subject btw). But however, this is coming at this issue from the side of already believing in God. If, like many scientists, they are coming from the other side...I just think something's back to front here. Help me out here: What does anyone else think ?

Wort - trains to - hing

This past saturday I travelled down to Worthing, on the coast, to go to Oli's 21st birthday party. It was good to see him, to see where he lived, to meet some of his family, to catch up with a few Bristol people...A very good day overall. (We also went on a quick tour of Worthing as we arrived slightly early).

However, it is good that we did make it down there ! There was a point during our journey when this seemed like this may not occur ! I was travelling down from London by train with Graham. When the train first appeared on the departure board, we were a little confused, wondering how a train to Worthing could go via Hastings. It then transpired that the train was going to split after the first part of the journey, and what was actually happening was that the 4 front carriages were going to Hastings, and the rear 4 were going to Littlehampton (via Worthing). This was my first encounter with such a train (although Graham had been on one before down to Canterbury). We tried to get on an appropriate carriage but, as you do, we wondered if we were in the right bit. We passed through Clapham, East Croyden, Gatwick...last station which both parts were passing through. We were at this point envisioning the possibility of having to jump - James Bond style - between carriages that were splitting, having realised we were on the wrong side. Everyone in the train was as confused as we were, especially as both parts of the train insisted that they were going to Hastings...After several consultations, and several changes of carriage, we at last found a ticket inspector, who gruffly told us that we were fine, and in the right bit. We still weren't convinced until we did actually reach our destination in one piece (and between us we have many photos to prove it !) Having therefore had a most eventful journey, and being thankful to not have ended up in Hastings (nice as it is, but would have defeated the entire point of the trip), we were then free to find Worthing Beach for the detour before heading to Oli's house to enjoy his party. The trip back, in contrast, went very smoothly and I arrived home safely, a little tired but it was well worth it :-)

p.s. do you see what I did in the title? Hehe. (Credit goes to G-amer though - I could never be that creative, lol.)

"Too funny for words"

In the course of my attempts to clear and sort (which at the moment seem to end up me just moving things from one place to another with no real clearing out...) I have discovered several books which I have had for a while and not gotten round to reading. One of these, I began dipping into this afternoon and got a bit hooked. It's a great book called 'Too funny for words' and is basically a collection of newspaper misprints and similar which this guy has collected over the years. Some of the mistakes are very subtle, it took me a while to see several of them, but as he says in the introduction often unconscious humour is the most funny (like the unintentional "deforestation is bad, we should cut it down" in one of my school biology essays- *groan*). Anyway...this book, I was laughing so hard this afternoon, I shall just mention a few of the ones I found most funny as I skim back through the book: :-D

"THE DAFFODIL BAR - By a misprint this ball was stated to have been organised by the National Society of Cruelty to Animals. It should, of course, have been children not animals"
The Irish Independent

"Party who took green silk pyjamas from clothes line at no 240 West 120th Street please return and no embarrassing exposure will be made on my part"
Oklahoma City News

"Because there has been some misunderstanding as to which Mrs. Wood has been ill, we wish to tell readers of the bulletin that it is Mrs. Lucille Wood and not Mrs. Lucille Wood. There, that will clear that up!"
Church Bulletin

"It is not considered polite to tear bits off your beard and put them in your soup"
Etiquette Book

"Enclosed please find birth certificate of a child born to above member of our staff for purposes of tax adjustment"
Letter to Inland Revenue

"Cops can find 96.2% of anybody lost in New York City"
Mexico City Herald

"Mr and Mrs -- of Duke Hill are the parents of any infant daughter born Thursday"
Illinois Paper

"It is necessary for technical reasons that these warheads should be stored with the top at the bottom, and the bottom at the top. In order that there may be no doubt as to which is the top and which is the bottom for storage purposes, it will be seen that the bottom of each head has been plainly labelled with the word TOP"
Admiralty Instruction

"Germans are so small that there may be as many as one billion, seven hundred million of them in a drop of water."
Mobile Press

"Quiet, clean gentleman seeks comfortable room where he can cook himself on a spirit stove."
Munchner Neueste Nachrichten

"HYMN...No. 336
(Congregation standing)
SERMON, 'What are you standing for ?'
New York Church Bulletin

"Births, deaths and mirages"
National daily

"BLANK'S MACCARONI AND CHEESE
IN
TOMATO SAUCE
containing
TOMATO SAUCE, MACARONI and CHEESE"
label on Tin

"Two women were fined £5 or £14 for throwing stones at Mr John Burn's residence, and missing"
Western Morning News

"Dear Member,
Just a reminder that the fourth Friday noon of February is next Monday, February 28th."
Church Circular

"Time flies when..."

I guess it's been a while since my last 'proper' post. Although on paper when I try to think about what I've been doing the last week and a bit since being back it wouldn't look like I'd done a huge amount, it still feels like I've been busy (a great talent of mine I think !) I have managed to catch up on sleep a little, and had such a good time this past weekend - went to Wimbledon for the day on saturday to watch some tennis with two of my housemates from this year. They then stayed over with me on the sat night and came to church with me on sun morning before heading back. Was really good to see them! Funny how it takes til the end of uni for me to feel like uni and home life are more integrated. I always before felt like I lived in two completely separate worlds (a common feeling I think among students, but nevertheless a very odd one) and have felt torn in two for the best part of 3 years. Now tho, I think because i know I will have to make an effort to see people and will be seeing a fair few uni people this summer, it almost feels like 1 life I'm living again. Doesn't solve the problems of next year (I won't even go there) but it certainly helps in other ways.

It's been so hot in the last few days that I haven't felt like doing much since the weekend, apart from watching tennis or being outside. But tonight I'm going back to my old school for the summer concert (I've been back to many of the concerts since I've left - still a very odd feeling, being able to sit in the audience !) and am meeting up with a few good friends beforehand for a meal. Am looking forward to it. :-)

Home safely

I'm now back at home again as of a couple of hours ago. The packing did get done in the end, though it was a bit tight ! I'm now knackered though - consequence of many recent very late nights/early mornings (depending on which way you look at it) and all the packing/unpacking. I need some sleep this week ! Worth it though. Have definitely had a week to remember :-)

And then there were 3...

So two of my housemates have now left. Just three of us left, and after tomorrow there will be just two of us. (I am now discovering what belonged to whom since things are slowly disappearing e.g. plates and the toaster from the kitchen !) We are now also off internet, tv and phone as of earlier this afternoon (this is me sitting in the student union for a few mins) and my packing is not going particularly well - I have thus far taken a few things off my wall, generated an alarming amount of rubbish, and filled a box file with stuff from this year ! Oh well, I have til sunday (eek!) Need to try to get back to it for a bit before the grad ball this evening...

The end of an era

Well...my student card runs out today. 23/06/2006. It does mark the end of an era. I found out on wednesday that I had gotten a 2i. I should be pleased, but I think I have not had the time to reflect recently really, so I think it will probably sink in more next week. I'm also sorry if this blog is the first time you've heard how I did - that's just because I have not had the time since wed to let many people know (housemates and family, plus a few other people I have seen in the last few days).

I have had a good couple of weeks, busy (and with lots of very late nights) but with good things. LiveSoc, in case you'd been wondering, went well I think - I was terrified in the soundcheck, but with the help of the calming presence of a few good friends, the actual performance I just really enjoyed and I think sounded ok (from the feedback I've had anyway). If you want to see a pic of me performing you can go to my myspace page (which I have recently updated a little). However, now from today onwards I need to start focusing on packing - I'm going home on sunday and haven't started yet ! I have had a bit of a lump in my throat so to speak for the last few days in particular. I know that, as one particular friend keeps reassuring me, I will see friends again even if I don't come back to Bristol next year (not sure yet - don't ask !) But there are people who won't be here, and of course it will be different whatever happens. It's hard to even say goodbye for the summer, let alone goodbye and I may not see you for a long time. But anyway, I should stop rambling before I get overwhelmed again and I should go start packing. I will do my best to keep in touch with people over the summer and beyond. I will also post occasionally on here too, although it may be sparce as I am away a fair bit over the summer. And I will leave you with the words of another Ginny Owens song which has been stuck in my head for the last few days. (I don't yet share all the sentiments, and some maybe don't quite apply to me, but the main principles do.)

"I've been grazing in the lush green pastures,
Watching time pass me by,
And I've been wading in the shallow waters,
Where everything is all right -
But today I know that something's different,
Something's disturbing my peace,
Oh, I can feel the changes in the distance,
And I hear them calling to me-

The day is here, the time has come
To sing a new song,
It's very clear I must move on,
And sing a new song,
It will define who I become,
This new song,
So show me how to sing along,
To this new song

I've been looking in the strangest places,
To find the source of my strength,
And even though the outcome never changes
Still I search endlessly
But no more wandering round in circles,
It's time that I cross the sea,
Now I'm trading in my cozy corner
For the bigger mystery

[Chorus]

Going there means leaving here,
Saying yes, means saying no,
Moving on means letting go of what is sure - for more."
-New Song by Ginny Owens