Last night I led some worship, on piano, at the small group which my mum and dad lead at our house every monday (I think it was the first time I've led on piano ?) It was an amazing evening generally and I felt so blessed to be able to share time with all these people - there's so much I can learn from all of them...Anyway, the worship...I call it worship 'following' not leading, cause that is what it did feel like. Again, every time I lead worship or play an instrument I go with the attitude that I know what I'm doing...in fact, every time I get surprised and humbled again and yesterday was a real exercise in laying down my pride again: firstly in song choice: that I needed to choose songs which would be appropriate and what would be on peoples' heart to sing to God, rather than the ones which I'd played that afternoon and come up with cool arrangments to (not that there's anything wrong with cool new arrangments, but it just wouldn't have been appropriate yesterday in that setting); then secondly in actual leading: I had to try to remain sensitive to where the time was going, and leave enough space at appropriate times (I always find that hard to try and judge), basically following what was happening, not leading as such. Although I find it a real challenge (mainly humbleness/pride/confidence isses), each time I play in worship in some form I feel so privilidged too to be able to be a part of this. And as I realised again last night, even if something is a little out of my 'comfort zone', as last night was, if being involved in the music side of worship (and even leading maybe) is somewhere God wants me to be, then who am I to try and hide from that ?! Aren't I the one who's been saying that I want to be the person God wants me to be ?!!
Anyway...one other thing...(not really related, but still on the music/worship topic): I was reading back through one of my journals last night, and found an entry I'd written on why I think I became involved in music playing in the first place: to cut a long story short, that music moves me so much sometimes, that I can't keep it in my system and have to find a way to let it out. My outlet, was to try to reproduce the music: so I'd learn to sing the song, then when I was a little older I'd also work out the chords, and would try to learn it on piano, later on guitar and now also on bass. When I listen to music I also often take it apart and try to think how I'd arrange each of the parts if I was playing it. This is why I'm not good at song writing and writing lyrics, and being creative in that sense, but within the context of a song, I am learning to be more creative with arrangments...I was wondering whether that was a common thing, as a reason for being musical I mean, or whether other people have different experiences ? i.e. why do people think that they love playing music (generally, not just in the context of worship here) ? But I would be especially interested though to hear from the other people who do have experience with playing in worship who read this blog (i.e. Ben, Rob, Matt...) Do comment cause I'd be interested to know ! (Plus it's probably a good thing to have to think about).
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2 comments:
I'm not sure that there needs to be a "reason" to be musical as such... It's just the way that God makes us! I guess I'm just thankful that it exists and that it has such power to move.
I also like to think of music as a language of the soul (sounds cheesy, I know, I know) and so in that sense it's only natural that we should want to use it expressively (i.e. not keep it inside). Some people have the gift of musical expression in the same way that others have a real gift with language.
In the same way, some people are able to express themselves using the language of music as imparted to them by others, whereas others are more creative in nature. For creative musicians, playing the same old arrangements to the same old songs can be quite frustrating! But as you've identified, sometimes you are required to put others above yourself and serve them by doing so.
Now quite sure what your original question was, but I value your thoughts on the whole thing. Having a position of responsibility in the musical expression of worship is a great thing, but (as you say) really requires humility in an age where musicians are glorified by the world.
Thanks for commenting Ben - always appreciate your thoughts too :-) I also appreciate the way you are able to take my long rambles and help me to make some sense of what I was actually trying to say !
I guess my question wasn't so much what reasons people have for 'being musical', (cause I do agree, that God's made us all uniquely and that that's probably just the way God's made us), but more what reasons people have for discovering that they were musical (for want of a better way of expressing it). I know my own personal story, in terms of how God's allowed (and is allowing) me to develop as a musician, but I'm just curious as to other peoples' journeys too, cause we all have such different experiences. And I think that, although using giftings sometimes may come naturally, sometimes even if we are gifted with something (like music for example) discovery of that gift needs to be initiated through something - for example hearing a certain song when you were a little and therefore aspiring to be able to play it...or whatever. Don't know if that makes any sense ? (I know what I'm trying to say really !)
I know I'm definitely thankful for music too - as is probably obvious from my blog I'm know that I'm not someone who has a gift with language (which can get a little frustrating at times), and so I find it a relief to therefore be able to express myself to some degree through music. Even though I can't write lyrics, music expresses things in ways deeper than just the lyrics sometimes.
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