It's not until you start (or rather try to finish) writing Christmas cards that you realise actually how widespread all over the country you now have friends (trying to find addresses for them is interesting). I knew I had a few good friends who weren't in Bristol any longer but I don't think it had hit me quite how many ! I'm so grateful to those friends I have still in Bristol and so grateful to have met so many new people this term...but a term still can't account for having known people, even for 3 years.
And yesterday has left me in a bit of a strange mood really. On one hand, I enjoyed the day so much ! The family service in the morning was amazing, and I felt very privilidged to be able to play Keyboard in the worship band with people who I'd not played with before. Then the carol service was amazing too. I loved having the privilidge of being in the choir (Jonathan James is such an amazing musician) and enjoyed singing. The church also looked SO beautiful with all the candles and lights...was so exciting as it was my first year I've been in Woodies for their carol service. But at the same time, it made me feel so homesick - that this IS the first year I've been in Bristol so late. (Amazing how you can be surrounded by SO many people, including a fair few you know, and yet feel so lonely and not having anyone to talk to.) Recently I've been wondering what I'm doing here. Is Bristol truly where I'm meant to be, or have I just been delaying the inevitable of moving on again ? Is hard, especially as when you're on year team you begin to get to know even more people at church and feel a bit more settled at the church (although at the same time less settled...?) Anyway...I shall stop rambling as I have to get on with the day (cards to write, debate to prepare for tomorrow, the church to clean etc...) Maybe I'm just feeling this way as I'm so tired and it's almost the end of term. I'll be home on wednesday. I'll see how I feel then.*
*Disclaimer: sorry for the ramble. Had to let it out somehow - should probably have done it in my journal rather than on the internet, but oh well. Feel free to just ignore my ramble. I'll probably feel differently tomorrow.*
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