Bath and other things

As it always is, these two weeks (last week and this) before the end of term are proving manic. So many things going on, and too much to do with too little time to do it in. Good things, just lots of them :-) But in the midst of that busyness, I've had a lovely couple of days this weekend. On saturday we went on a flat outing to the Bath Christmas market. It was fun to wander round, and great to hear the brass band playing and see all the Christmas decorations...we then came back and had our Christmas flat meal - lots of food, a secret santa, then lots of clearing up and a bit jamming session at the end :-)

Sunday (yesterday)...in the morning service several of my friends got baptised, which was really exciting! I was also asked to sing in the worship band, which I enjoyed - recently people have been getting me to sing more and more, and it's great. Singing at the front is never something I thought I could do. But I've always loved singing, and I love the fact that I can give that gift God's given me back to Him, and use it to help other people to worship Him too. It's really amazing ! (And I do feel ever so slightly less terrified singing on stage now than I did, so I can focus on worshipping more than on just hitting the right notes !) Then we had a reception and lunch for all friends and family of those who were baptised. Then a friend who was visiting Bristol for the weekend came round, we had a bit of a jam, then went to the Christ Church carol service together. Day was finished off with an amazing pizza (I highly recommend Pizza Provencal in Clifton), a bit more of a jam, then watching forest gump on tv with flatmates. All in all a good weekend.

And so...monday morning again. Ready to face another busy week ? Well, not really. But I'm sure it will be a good week. Just need to try to be sensible about fitting in enough sleep somewhere there ! :-)

(Bath Abbey, with one of the stalls of the Christmas market in front.)

Mehh...

Humpf. Have just downloaded Internet Explorer 7 by mistake, and I don't like it !! :-( The font is weird, and I keep going down to the taskbar to open my other webpages, forgetting that they're now tabs instead (obviously window's alternative to firefox). Also, I can't find the same options that I use - I don't know anymore how to change the privacy settings, save as favourites, or generally change any browser options. I guess I'll probably get used to it after a while of fiddling...I just don't like change :-P

In other news...I really enjoyed the pub lunch and walk with W3 on sunday afternoon. (For some photos see the w3 blog ). It was very very muddy on the walk and I only just got back in time for being on duty by the skin of my teeth (well, I was a few minutes late, but Lois will have to forgive me) but it was great to feel like being family together. I sat with a few W3 people on sunday night too. Really feel like I'm starting to get to know a few people :-)

Also, Livesoc last night went ok. I was quite critical of my performance (as I guess a performer always is) and knew I could have sung better, but I had some very positive comments from people, so apparently it was ok :-) And I enjoyed the rest of the evening too, a couple of non-livesoc good friends came along and I sat with them. The headlining band (Bizali) were awesome :-)

1 Year Old Today !

My blog is 1 years old today ! And this is also my 100th post ! Two milestones in one post :-) In a way a year seems not very long ago, when I read back on my posts. But in another way it feels a world away. Who'd have thought a year ago (apart from God that is) that I'd be where I am now. IN some ways, reading back over my old posts, I haven't changed a lot in that year. But in other ways, I think I am probably more aware of things which I'd like to be changed. And who'd have thought just how widespread blogging would become. In a year so many other people have joined the blogosphere, especially from Woodies. Well, at least I can say I wasn't at the beginning but I wasn't at the end !

Anyway...enough of reflection and rambling (as the title of my blog allows). Today is going to be a busy but good day. On duty today at church, then in the hours inbetween the services I'm (hopefully) going with W3, my new pastorate, on their pub lunch and walk. It will be nice to have a chance to get out of Bristol for an afternoon and to be able to spend more time with W3 people. If I take any good photos I may even share them on here !

Guitars and other things...

Just saw this post by a friend of mine on his blog. It gives a link to a short piece in Inside Worship (a magazine produced by Vineyard Music) which he wrote, about "The guitarist's guide to effective mistake". All musicians, but especially guitarists, will find this highly amusing. So have a read.

And while we're on the subject of guitars...if anyone in Bristol is free next tuesday night (28th), then you'd be welcome to come see me play a short set (probably 3 songs now) at the next Livesoc event. It'll be me with guitar and singing. The evening should start about 8 as usual and finish around 11. There'll be a band headlining (not sure who yet) and the evening should be great fun. I'll probably be playing nearer the start of the evening, but I'm not entirely sure. It'll be as usual in AR2 in the Bristol Student Union, so if you're a non-student wanting to come, you'll have to phone me or something when you get there on tues so that I can let you in or get someone else to let you in ! (I know I'm not a student either...but I happen to have gotten an associate membership of the union for the year, knowing that I'd want to still be involved in Livesoc and use union facilities this year !)

Best dash now...need breakfast before going shopping for student lunch. My next post will be my 100th ! Not sure what I can do to mark the occasion, but I'll try think of something :-)

p.s. the song I posted in the last post, is one which I will be playing next tuesday and one of whom the lyrics are quite relevant for me at the moment.

Brave

"The gate is wide
The road is paved in moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground
You're safe and sound and
Until now it's where I've been

'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything
But it's been love, Your love, that cuts the strings

So long status quo
I think I'll just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I am small
And I speak when I'm spoken to
But I am willing to risk it all
I say Your name
Just Your name and I'm ready to jump
Even ready to fall...

Why did I take this vow of compromise?
Why did I try to keep it all inside?

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame
Every storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if you believe in me
That changes everything
So long, I'm gone

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
I wanna be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave"

-Nichole Nordeman

What a way to wake up !

I was woken up this morning by a strange golden light at my window and the sounds of what sounded like hail on my window ! I dragged myself out of bed, and sure enough, I could see hail stones running down my window. That in itself was amazing, but what was even more amazing was that out of the corner of my eye I saw an amazing rainbow, just settled over some of the houses ! I managed to capture it on camera (getting quite wet in the process) just before it disappeared and the sky became almost cloudless and bright blue; you'd never have known what had just happened; I would never have known if I hadn't just looked at that moment.



I've had an odd few weeks: first of all with a flu-like thing knocking me out quite substantially for a few weeks, then being lifted out of that, but then this week having such an extremely busy week that I get to the end of the week and feel I've had hardly a moment to catch my breath and just be. But in the midst of all that, God still manages to catch my attention in quite an amazing way, and stop me for a minute in the midst of all that. I have a very busy (but exciting) weekend, and am already quite tired, but I know that God is with me. And I will have to make a bit more time in my only slightly less busy week next week to be still and to rest.

Fireworks !!!

Yaaay !!! Fireworks are so pretty ! (I'm quite pleased with how my photos came out actually). Had a really good evening. A friend came round at 5.30, we had supper then walked up to the fireworks. I did actually meet several people I knew (even in that huge crowd!) I also managed to meet up with W3 pastorate people (the pastorate at Woodies which I've just started going to), and walked back with them, and sat with them while they all ate curry. Was very cool. I also always think it's so amazing, just that sheer number of people walking back down Whiteladies Road after the fireworks on the Downs. It must be one of the few events in the year where the whole of Bristol seems to come together. Amazing.

Anyway...what's all this rubbish about me spending less time on the internet :-P But I had actually better go get some sleep now, especially as I'm only just starting to recover from being a bit ill ! So goodnight for now, and I hope everyone else had good bonfire night saturday evenings too :-)

Driving and superheroes

(Btw, the two words in the title are not related in any way, I shall just be talking about both of them. Just to clear that one up !)

I never thought that I would say this, but I have just gotten back from my second driving lesson in Bristol, and I actually enjoyed it ! I actually am starting to like driving ! Today we did some clutch control exercises (which involved me overcoming my fear of moving backwards down hills), did some reversing in a 'quiet road', and started learning to do turns in the road (which I did two of, doing it in 3-points both times!) And although my legs ache a little now, and it was quite scary learning to do hillstarts, I did enjoy it. My instructor here is really cool. We seem to get on well, and he's really encouraging, which is what I need really ! So, with weekly lessons now happening, hopefully I'll keep progressing, and will at some point in the future get to test standard ! Tres exciting.

Now...the other topic in the header...this is a debate which was started this morning, due to a flatmate talking about a superhero fancy dress party he went to last night. He wasn't wearing a costume, but as he had a black coat on, someone suggested that he looked like Neo (you know, from the Matrix). Debate followed as to whether Neo counts as a 'superhero' or not. Google defines a hero as: "a man distinguished by exceptional courage and nobility and strength" whereas a superhero is: "A superhero is a fictional character who is noted for feats of courage and nobility and who usually has a colorful name and costume and abilities beyond those of normal human beings". i.e. a hero seems to be someone (often who is a real person), who is just a normal person, but who shows great courage etc...whereas a superhero has abilities beyond a normal human. But where is the line ? Is Neo just an ordinary person, who achieves great things, or does he have 'powers beyond a normal human' ? I guess part of the problem is that I've always thought of superheroes to wear funny coloured costumes and be able to fly (at which point, someone points out that Neo could fly in the 3rd film of the trilogy)...So, what does anyone else think ? Is Neo a 'superhero' ? :-)

p.s. It is very almost the year anniversary of the start of this blog, and almost the 100th post. If I am careful, I might be able to coincide the two ! Now that would be exciting. :-D Oh dear !

p.p.s. Anyone else going to the fireworks tonight on the downs, I hope you enjoy them, and who knows I may bump into people there !

Yaaay !!!

We have internet !!!!!!!! At last. (Though I really shouldn't speak too soon, having only just been connected it seems to be a little tempermental, as I had great difficulty getting to the page on blogger to let me post ! It also keeps dropping me from the network. Hmmm.) But it is a start. I probably won't be spending much more time on the net than I have been recently, due to no time, but it does mean I can keep on top of e-mails bettter and hopefully reply to people sooner (sorry to those of you who e-mailed me over a month ago but have not heard anything back. Replies will be on the way soon now). I will also not need to visit the internet cafe again - you know you've spent far too long somewhere when you start to recognise all the staff who work there, and they recognise you !!!

Although it has been stressful and difficult, for many reasons, I think the lack of internet has been good for me. Has made me realise just how dependent I am on it, and just how much people expect me to reply instantly to everything ! So, although I am back officially, I will try to cut back on the amount of 'non-essential' time I spent on the net.

In other news...I am STILL covered in glitter. We had amazing fun at IMPS (mums and toddlers at Henleaze) this morning with a bonfire night themed craft involving glitter for making firework pictures. Very, very, very messy, but great fun too :-) Only regret is that I didn't get to make a picture too :-) Am looking forward to 'bonfire night themed student lunch' this friday, and the downs fireworks on saturday !

And so...

I am conscious of the fact that it has been about 2 weeks since my last update ! (*shock horror!*) Now I also know that in reality 2 weeks isn't a very long time, but in the life of a year-teamer it feels like a very long time, in the sense that a lot happens in 2 weeks !

I am doing well. Highlights of the last week include: meeting up with Lois to chat about how year team stuff is going (tuesday), chatting with lots of freshers yesterday at student lunch, being asked to and then playing in the Devotion band yesterday, and certain 'in-jokes' involving lots of foam (see Rhys' blog). All in all, a good week. But you know the feeling when you get to the weekend and think 'well, what now ?'. When you get so caught up in planning a week, and making sure you know where you're meant to be when, that when it gets to the end of that time frame for which you have planned you feel a bit flat. That's not to say next week won't be great. I know I'll learn a lot more (seems to be a theme at the moment - though acting on stuff is more tricky), and I'll spend time with a few more friends who I haven't seen properly for a while, but I just need to try to make some space this weekend in the midst of all the running around I'm so good at doing just to reflect !

p.s. we're getting internet soon !!!!!!!!!! Goodbye internet cafe !

Whose fool are you ?

Take two of the really deep sainsburys trolleys, two year teamers (plus one other helper), one shopping list for student barbaques, 1 and 1/2 hours and what have you got...? It was highly entertaining doing the shopping for the last of the student welcome barbaques yesterday. We got some interesting looks and it felt rather amusing pushing so much stuff around sainsburys. To give you an idea...30 boxes of burgers, 8 packs of ham, 8 of chicken slices, one huge block of cheese, 100 doughnuts, 7 of those 24 multipack bags of crisps....and the list goes on. I've never bought so much food all at once ! It brought to mind the words of John Wimber when he said 'I'm a fool for Christ, whose fool are you ?' (I am sure that this year will bring plenty more opportunities to discover the meaning of that phrase !) The amusing amount of food we were buying did provide us with an amazing opportunity to explain to people what it was all this food was for and what we were doing. Am looking forward to student lunch shopping every week (although, hopefully those quantities won't be quite so high !)

Fresher's week went well overall I think, despite the rain towards the end of the week. Lots of students came to the barbaques; I enjoyed meeting new people as well as catching up with friends, in between running around like a mad thing or playing guitar. Was great fun playing some songs with Colse on thursday and friday as the 'live music'. Even more fun though was watching the Wrayster, Colse and Mr Dave Mitchell jamming some blues together at one point ! (I have photographic evidence to prove it). They sounded really, really good :-)

Here's hoping next week will be as good, but will somehow involve more sleeping and less running around (well, after my essay for tuesday gets somehow finished that is !)

p.s. to those who have written me e-mails and other things - thank you so much and I will reply at some point, when I have a little more time ! I'm not just ignoring you. (To say I have been busy this last week is a little bit of an understatement ! Good busy though.)

Update and new caption competition !

Hi everyone, yes I'm in the internet cafe again. Have had an interesting week. I really loved helping out with creches on wed and thurs this week at Henleaze over lunchtime - the kids are great, and as Rhys can testify I had great fun dressing up as a ladybird for them yesterday ! On wednesday though I hadn't previously been aware that it was possible to feel quite so exhausted ! (I imagine that it's going to be a common feeling this year). I was at Henleaze all morning (left the flat at 8.20am) got back about 2ish (?) and straight away we went to help with set up for the Alpha supper. I then got back to the flats at about 11.30ish pm, and the only break I had was about 45 mins at 5.30 to have a shower to try to de-greasify myself after having been stripping chickens a lot of the afternoon ! I slept well that night !!! Looking forward to fresher's week next week, having friends back for the start of term and also being able to welcome new students. Don't ask me how Steve managed to rope me into agreeing to play some songs as part of the 'live music' though !!!

Just before I go, may I point your attention towards a new caption competition by Rhys. I await the suggestions with interest !

Oh, and one more thing...I'm about to send out the first of my 'gap year' 'prayer newsletters'. I there is anyone reading this who doesn't receive it who would like to then let me know, praps in the comments section. Thanks.

No Matter What

At the moment you'll probably all be able to tell when I'm on the internet as I'll leave a small blog post ! I can't really sum up all that's been going on, so I won't try. But this song was played during 'response time' this past sunday morning in the Family Service at Woodies Central and it just really struck me. Although I haven't been able to tell anyone this (but I guess now the whole world knows due to my blog) I was really struggling on sunday morning. It was my first sunday on duty and I was absolutely terrified. Also, you know those times when you're surrounded by people, yet you still feel incredibly lonely ? Well, throughout the day and week and this song, God's just been reminding me of His amazing faithfulness; that how NO MATTER how I'm feeling, He's the same, consistent, reliable, trustworthy, so good and I can thank Him for so many things. I want to be a person who learns more to chose to praise Him at all times.

"When the sun is bright, when the sky is blue
When it's all alright, I will praise You
When life seems to go like I want it to
Things are as I'd hoped, I will praise You

Through the sun, through the rain
You never change
You are so worthy
I'll lift Your name
And no matter what I'm going through
I will praise You

When it's raining hard, when it's all gone wrong
I'll still sing this song, I will praise You
When I've been promised things that aren't happening
And I'm still waiting, I will praise You

I will, I will, I will praise You
I will, I will, I will praise You"
-Jodie Frye

Defining the word 'safe'

I started reading The Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy again over the summer (mainly because when my brother started reading it and asking me things about it, I realised how little of it I actually remembered !) Such a random and hilarious book. I'd recommend it to anyone who hasn't read it yet. Some classic quotes, but I think some of my current favourite quotes from the first book have to be (which I thought I'd share):

(When Arthur and Ford have hitched a ride just as the Earth was about to be blown up.)
"If I asked you where the h*** we were," said Arthur weakly, "would I regret it ?"
Ford stood up. "We're safe," he said.
"Oh good," said Arthur.
"We're in a small galley cabin," said Ford, "in one of the spaceships of the Vogan Constructor Fleet."
"Ah," said Arthur, "this is obviously some strange usage of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of."


"Ford was holding up a small glass jar which quite clearly had a small yellow fish wriggling around in it. Arthur blinked at him. He wished there was something simple and recognisable he could grasp hold of. He would have felt safe if alongside the Dentrassi underwear, the piles of Sqornshellous mattresses and the man from Betelgeuse holding up a small yellow fish and offering to put it in his ear he had been able to see just a small packet of corn flakes. But he couldn't, and he didn't feel safe." :-D

I'm still alive !

I survived my first week and a bit as a year teamer :-) Am sitting in this internet cafe again (hopefully we'll get internet at some point !) and thought I'd therefore better post a quick post ! I'm fairly tired, and there are certain challenges already presenting themselves, but am enjoying things too. I do feel like I know the other year teamers a bit better now, especially after our retreat last week (- for some reason, chocolate brownies taste better when eaten off cocktail sticks, not sure why!) And I'm enjoying spending lots of time with them. The flats are getting a bit busier now, with more people moving in. I also start my placements this week, one of which is helping at Devotion (yaaay !) and we start the Mullers theology course tomorrow. So it's all going ok...just some more sleep is required at the moment, so this post is gonna be short (not sure whether it's that sweet) so I can go and get some food and then some sleep ! Longer more rambly posts will follow once I'm more awake :-)

p.s. anyone around in Bristol tomorrow evening, we're having a pirate party in the woodies student flats (to celebrate 'national talk-like-a-pirate day!) So feel free to drop by - 7.30 onwards, fancy dress optional but preferred !

A new chapter

So...having said I'd be off internet a while (!), I'm sitting here in this internet cafe (in some of my time off) having had my first morning of being an official 'Year Teamer' trying to get my head around all that has been happening in the last few days and how I can possibly sum it all up in a blog post! I think maybe the best way to sum it all up is by saying that God is so good !!! Before I got back to Bristol yesterday, to say I was a little scared was an understatement ! But getting back, God just helped everything to go so much more smoothly than I could ever have hoped for. Just little things - like the way I was offered a lift up from the station; the way my room has such an amazing view over a large amount of Bristol ( a view which I don't think I'll ever get over - I spent a good deal of time yesterday night just staring out of the window and watching the lights and stars awestruck); the way I was expecting to find it hard reintegrating into Bristol life but I just felt like I was coming home (my second home) from the minute I got here and throughout the Woodies evening service; the way the evening service yesterday touched on EXACTLY the same things which had been being prayer over me in our morning service back home; the way I keep bumping into people I know in the oddest of places; the way Lois and the other year teamers are so great...I could go on ! Since I made this decision another major worry has been whether I had done the right thing or not. But especially this morning at the staff meeting, I had a great encouragment that it was the right thing (if there is such a thing) and that God IS with me, and IS going to do amazing things this year. So, despite being currently fairly tired and overwhelmed a little, I'm really excited and don't know how I can contain it ! (Need to find a guitar to borrow methinks). Am looking forward to the many joys and the many challenges ahead of me.

This Year...

I know that I have just sent many of you who will be reading this a rambly mass e-mail, but for the sake of my blog let me repeat myself a little: Well everyone, I can now confirm that I will be in Bristol this year. In fact, I am moving back tomorrow. (Hence my current mad rush to finish sorting things out and the interesting-ness of trying to work out how I’m going to fit everything I need for 2-3 weeks – minimum- of self-catered living into the number of bags I can carry on a train without falling over. Those of you who know my tendency to always want to pack lots of stuff will realise how much of a challenge this is ! And I think I may be sleeping in a sleeping bag for a while !) Anyway…I’m rambling (again)…A few of you reading this will probably know, but some will be wondering how it is I have finally decided to spend this year: I am going to be part of the year team at Woodies this year !

Many of you who are likely to read this go to Woodies anyway and so will know (probably better than me) what this will entail, but for those who don’t…in short it’s a kind-of gap year programme (voluntary) where as part of a team you get to help out with loads of different things around the church, do some exciting church cleaning (Woo!), and we also get to attend a theology course which is run on Tuesday each week at Mullers. Developing one’s servant heart.

I am excited, but also very daunted too as it’s finally hitting me what I’ve gotten myself into and how soon I start. I know that I can’t do this year by myself and in my own strength, so continued prayer is still much appreciated, especially as I am settling back into Bristol and into a new routine of things next week.

I may be offline now for a fair time while I am settling in and until the internet gets sorted out in the Woodies Flats where I’ll be living (see Ruthie’s LJ). But those in Bristol I shall hope to catch up with some of you soon ! And hopefully I shall be able to write more thought-provoking (hopefully) posts soon, rather than just updates of what’s going on in the world of Ro ! (Interesting though they may be of course ! Umm…)

Sorry, the US and other things...

First of all, let me just say sorry to those of you who have been waiting for an account of my trip to the US (if there are any such people)...I hadn't forgotten, just have been rather preoccupied this week: what with trying to get over jetlag and swollen tonsils as well as trying to sort out next year (which is in a way moving rather fast but also proving fairly complex). Next year wise, I have made a decision of sorts, but don't feel able to say anything much here yet since there are still things to sort out. I will let you know in due course. But I can say that it is highly probable that I will be in Bristol for at next year at least.

Anyway...I should say that the US was amazing (although it feels rather a long time ago now, due to this being a rather long and very up-and-down week). We were there 3 weeks, 1 week in California, 1 week in Arizona and 1 week in Nevada (Las Vegas). All good weeks, but very different in their own ways. The US has some really amazing scenery, and seeing the Grand Canyon as well as all the other amazing formations in that area was truly amazing, and can't be described in words. The Grand Canyon is 270 miles around the rim, 10miles across and 1 mile down. Standing on the rim, you really begin to understand what the word breathtaking means ! Normally with these things, you'd say that it has to be seen to be believed, but in this case, I couldn't really take it in or believe it even when there ! Las Vegas feels a little like a giant theme park - down the main boulevard (The Strip) there are a large number of hotels/casinos, may of which have specific themes. You could spend longer than a week looking round them all ! Very bizarre driving down the road and seeing New York, complete with Statue of Liberty, then Paris complete with Eiffel Tower, Venice, a Roman Palace, a Circus, a Medieval Castle...! Sorry for being brief, but I couldn't even fully describe what we saw if I wrote a really mammoth post !

I'd better go for now. Won't be around (again) the next few weeks as I'm away (again). But I've very much appreciated reading other people's blogs, even if I haven't found the time to comment, so thank you. Good to hear all the news and know how people are doing. Those of you in Bristol, I will hopefully see you in September. In the meantime...any Christian friends of mine reading this, I would greatly appreciate prayer at the moment for everything I have to sort out for next year, in particular for help finding housing for next year, and also for God to be preparing me for September. Thanks :-)

Driving - Wooo !

Just come back from my second 2hr driving lesson ! Very tired, and a lot to try and remember, but I did a lot today ! I got up into third gear (=bout 30mph). Roundabouts, traffic lights, speed bumps, traffic queue, lots of turns, and I even got to drive us back to my house on the main roads ! Wow. It's not quite so scary once you're doing it - or rather it is, but in a different way from how I expected, cause you just get thrown into doing it, and don't have time to think and not want to drive, cause you have to ! Changing up gear isn't too bad either, I just still don't like going down again ! I also did stall several times at traffic lights, but still - not tooo bad. Everyone has to start learning at some point :-)

p.s. I haven't forgotten - proper description of holiday will come soon, just when I'm not so tired and have a little more time.

RE: It's official

"The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be"
-Switchfoot

As people may have guessed, I am now back in the UK for a little while (as of sunday middayish, but since then have been feeling very jetlagged and only now feel like doing anything really). Since being away, I have gotten into the band Switchfoot a lot - another band I now highly recommend for those of you who like music with a slightly more rocky edge (see my myspace profile page for a link to their myspace). I love their songs: amazing words and music ! The words above state how I feel every day - that there is so much I could be, but that that is so different from the reality of who I actually am, and that frustrates me so much (probably a good thing it does, but uncomfortable none the less). As I said in my other post, as I see more and more, I see more of my weaknesses. But I'm also learning that I'm not going to change them by myself (believe me, I've tried. Tho that doesn't mean I have nothing to do!) I'll only change, not by merely struggling to be a better person and to ignore things, but only by looking to Jesus and who He is, and allowing Him to transform me. I just have to keep looking at Him. (Far easier said than done though).

"Everyday, I see more of Your greatness.
Everyday, I know more of my weakness Lord.
And I can only hope that I'll be changed.
Even as I look upon Your face.

For the eyes of my heart are on You forever,
They're on You forever"
-Matt Redman