Cave exploration and being like a deer

Introduction: I was recently inspired by a blog post written by a friend of mine...Part of what he wrote was about how we often don't realise the impact that the things we share could have; that we shouldn't let our voice be silenced, because what we share may be just what someone else needs to hear (go and read the original post, because it's written much better than my very brief summary!) So with that in mind, I thought I'd write a new blog post and share some thoughts with you from my holiday in Southern Italy this summer, in the hope that it may be of encouragement to you also. 

The area of Italy that we visited, Puglia (also known as Apulia), contains a number of caves due to the limestone rock in parts of the region. On one of our sightseeing trips, we visited a place called Castellana Grotte, where there is an impressive cave system that you can visit and it is quite a big tourist site. Unfortunately, in order to see these caves, we had many stairs to climb and walkways to traverse, the stones we walked on were very uneven in places and to top it all, it was fairly dark in parts. So at first, I spent quite a bit of time worrying that I was going to fall - particularly given my history of weak joints and twisting/spraining my ankle easily. It took all of my concentration to focus on where my feet were going. Looking down meant that, not only was it hard to appreciate the beauty of the caves around me, but I also ended up feeling really nauseous (it felt like really bad travel sickness!)

 

But then I was reminded of a verse in the Bible, about God making us as surefooted as deer, which blew me away! The verse goes like this:

"The sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights" (Hab3:19; NLTtranslation)

In a different translation (the Amplified version) it says this:

"The Lord God is my strength [ my source of courage, my invincible army]; He has made my feet [ steady and sure] like hinds' feet, and makes me walk [forward with spiritual confidence] on high places [of challenge and responsibility]."

A similar verse in Psalm 18 says:

"He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; He causes me to stand on the heights...you provide a broad path for my feet, so that my ankles do not give way." (As you may appreciate, the latter phrase managed to get my attention!)

Now whilst it may seem like mixing metaphors slightly to think about being like a deer walking on the heights when I was 60m underground in a cave, this reminder made me think that perhaps, even though it was counterintuitive, I needed to look up, not down. Looking down wasn't working; I was worrying, not enjoying the trip, missing the beauty around me (which I desperately wanted to see and enjoy!), and I was even making myself ill! But God said that He would make me as surefooted as a deer - I just need to look up and trust Him to take care of my footing, as He said He would, as well as everything else. It was very hard to let go of that feeling of wanting to be in control. But when I did, it meant that I was freer, not constantly worrying, and I was able to better appreciate the beauty of the caves around me, as well as to better appreciate the people around me too. And I didn't fall. Perhaps this is also a picture of how my life should be.

The definitions of surefooted are along the lines of:

- unlikely to stumble or slip
- confident and competent
- able to easily walk on rough ground, without falling
- the ability to negotiate difficult or rough terrain safely.

I particularly find the latter two very interesting. It seems that being surefooted does not mean that the way ahead necessarily becomes smooth, much as we would like it to (the floor in the cave didn't magically change when I stopped looking at it!). But it does mean that even when the ground beneath me is rough (as it will be, at times), I will still be able to walk on it confidently and without hurting myself. I just need to look up, and not down at my feet!

There are other places in the Bible where we see this same principle at work, even though the contexts are slightly different. In one of the letters the apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthian church, he talked about how much pressure he had been under and the hope that he had in God to deliver him:

"We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the trouble we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope, that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers" (2Cor1:8-11).

I also love Psalm 124, that talks about how overwhelmed the Israelites would have been...IF God had not been on their side. It reminds us that God is our help.

I could go on, there are so many other similar passages that have been coming to mind of late. Notably there is also the story of Peter walking on the water, and how he only started sinking when he started looking down at the waves and at the storm around him. But when he kept his eyes fixed on Jesus ahead of him, he was able to overcome and to walk on the waves (completely impossible in the natural!) You should read the whole story if you aren't familiar with it, it's pretty amazing.

I am also facing a number of challenging circumstances at the moment, in several different areas of life. And these come on top of already having a fairly full life, with numerous responsibilities. The very real temptation is to look at all of these things and to get overwhelmed by them and wonder how I will cope. And yet, "this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness" (Lam3:23). God promises that if we make the hard decision to look up at him, He will keep us from being overwhelmed. We may encounter situations where we feel hard pressed, but we will not be crushed. He will make us surefooted like those deer, able to traverse those difficult places where it should be impossible for us to walk. HE will be the one who directs our steps. And in the process He will give us a hope to cling to, He will enable us to see the beauty around us, like I did in those Italian caves, and we will see him at work in incredible ways that we would otherwise not get to see, in both our lives and the lives of those around us. It will be worth it. And when we walk like this, perhaps we will also be able to grab hold of those who are struggling around us, no longer at risk of being dragged down by their struggles but able to reach out to them and teach them to also look up.

A song that I have listened to many times, but is inspiring me afresh at the moment, is the song "God I look to You" by Bethel Music. It is a great song of declaration about this very topic - of looking up and not being overwhelmed. Have a listen, and I hope it inspires you too.

 
God I look to You - Bethel Music

 

Verse:
God I look to You, I won't be overwhelmed
Give me vision to see things like You do
God I look to You, You're where my help comes from
Give me wisdom; You know just what to do

Chorus:

I will love You Lord my strength
I will love You Lord my shield
I will love You Lord my rock
Forever, all my days, I will love You God

Bridge:

Hallelujah our God reigns
Hallelujah our God reigns
Hallelujah our God reigns
Forever, all my days, hallelujah!

Hosea 11 - rewritten (and reflections on the heart of God)

[Hosea 11 rewritten]
When I [insert my/your name] was a child, You (God) loved me and called me, Your daughter, out of the dark places, the places of oppression and slavery to fear.

But the more You called me, the further I went from You. I tried to do everything on my own, and I turned to other things (and other people) to satisfy me; I merely played at religion.

But God it was You who taught me to walk, taking me by the arms; but I did not realise it was You who healed me. You led me with the cords of human kindness, with ties of love; You lifted the yoke from my neck, and bent down to feed me.

Yet at every turn I try to go back, back to the places that seemed comfortable and safe, but in reality are really only places of destruction and oppression - I seem to try anything, anything that is except from returning to You! That is why I feel so empty inside, so burnt out and washed up; why every plan of my own invention to try to improve things never seems to work. I still seem determined to turn from You, even now. So many times in the past, even if I have called to You, the most High, it hasn't been real, my heart hasn't really been connecting with You.

But still You cry, how can I give up on You, [insert my/your name]? How can I hand you over? God, Your heart is changed within you; all of Your compassion is aroused.

So You will not carry out Your fierce anger, nor will You turn and devastate us. For You are God and not man - the Holy One among us. You will not come in wrath.

I will follow You, Lord, and You will roar like a lion. When You roar, me and all of Your children will come trembling from the far places. We will come trembling like birds from Egypt, like doves from Assyria. You declare that You will settle us in our homes.

Selah.


[My reflections]
Hear the Lord's anguish in this passage; hear His desperation and His heart for us, His longing for us to return to Him. We who turn from Him, in spite of all that He has done and does still; and yet, still He loves us with an everlasting love; still He refuses to give us up, to abandon us to the wolves and to our own devices.

Praise be to God!

Words

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
Or so goes the old proverb. But is that really true ? I don't think it's true. I think in a lot of ways, words can hurt and have a more lasting effect than sticks and stones can. I'm not sure what got me thinking about this - might have been something I heard or read about the importance of words. But doesn't it make you slightly nervous about the responsibilty we have ? That with the words we say, we can make such a lasting impression on people ? I know personally that I've been both really encouraged and a bit hurt by words that people have said in the past. And I'm someone who tends to hold onto things for a long time a lot of the time.

And looking in the Bible, words are important there too. Just putting 'words' into a concordance tells you this. For a start, Jesus is the word made flesh (John 1:14); God spoke and through His words the universe came into being (Psalm 33:9), the Bible is the word of God "living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword" (Hebrews 4:12). Psalm 19 says "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight" and I'm sure in Proverbs it says somewhere something like 'out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.'

But what does all of this mean for someone like me who constantly struggles with not being to express anything - in normal conversation, in prayer, in anything really...? I can almost never effectively communicate what is on my heart to say, even when my heart is in a good place. I can use e-mail and blogs cause they give me time to think about what I want to say, though even then I'm not wonderful at communicating and is that any way to live ? Constantly e-mailing people with things I didn't manage to say face to face to them ?

I think this also overflows into prayer hugely and is probably why I struggle so much with praying outloud. I think I think that prayer is all about the words used. I sometimes feel like, through what I say I have to be encouraging the person I'm praying for and that if I don't pray for the right thing, God won't help the person. (And that's rubbish right ! As if prayer was meant to be primarily an undercover way of me encouraging someone ?!) But "ask and you shall receive" right ? What if you don't know how to ask ?

I know that God is so much bigger than that; that He does know what is on my heart even before I speak (Psalm 139:4) - something I have constantly taken comfort in, but do I REALLY know that ? Do I REALLY understand that prayer isn't about the words I use, but about the one I'm praying to ? Until I penetrate this confusion, how will I ever get over my fear of praying out loud, even for people I really love ?! And until I really understand this, will I ever be motivated enough to pray as much as I'd like to be praying ? Can anyone else identify with this, if they're truly honest with themselves ?

I think this is a really subconscious thing, which has only surfaced for me in the last few days. I didn't even know I thought like this ! It makes me start to wonder just how many other lies and twisted truths I've been believing. Apologies if I'm spilling too much out for a blog - had to write it somewhere but I probably should have used a journal. Well, maybe it's challenged other people too ?

Being rooted and established

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of Christ" Ephesians 3:17-19

I can't believe it's March already ! I had my second mentoring session yesterday evening. As I half expected, we ended up talking about the things I didn't want to (but probably needed to) talk about and didn't get round to talking about what I'd wanted to...but in praying for me, my mentor had this picture: of a tree, like an oak tree or something. And just felt like, God is at work in me, but He's putting my roots down deeper this year. The roots are underground and can't be seen, so it may not necessarily feel like anything is happening, but it is. And the roots of a tree are foundational, vital, and it will mean that at the right time, the tree can bear fruit.
I have been given pictures, many also involving trees and flowers, along these lines before but it was just really encouraging to hear.

It also made me realise how impatient I am - I want everything to happen now, everything to be sorted out in me...etc. But God doesn't work like that. He has good plans, and His timing is perfect. He knows what He's doing. There are several areas at the moment where I feel like, in light of this, I really need God's help to be more patient in waiting for His timing, and not trying to press ahead with things before it's right.

This morning, I was then reflecting on this passage from Ephesians, which came to mind. And was thinking, what would that actually mean, to be ROOTED and ESTABLISHED in love? The best definitions I could find (thanks to Google) are:

Roots - The underground component of plants, responsible for anchoring plants and providing them with water and nutrients.

Also, I was also thinking that without roots or with only shallow roots the plant can be very easily uprooted, blown over when storms come.

Established - the state of a plant when it is adjusted to the site and thriving

"ROOTED and ESTABLISHED IN LOVE". Wow.

Switchfoot rock !!!

Last night was amazing !!! Can't really be described in words, but I will try and share a bit of what happened last night. (If you don't know much of their stuff, then I would really recommend checking them out. Go to their website or their myspace).

I'd never really been to such a big gig before (although I've long wanted to). The venue was big, but we stood somewhere in the middle, so had plenty of room. The atmosphere was amazing, and the lighting awesome - just added to what the band was playing, as lighting should really. The support band, Superhero, wasn't bad (tho I liked some songs better than others and unfortunately couldn't really hear the lyrics), then there was a brief talky bit about God stuff, followed by Switchfoot !!! The switchfoot guys are so amazing, all seem such nice guys and great musicians. I haven't been to such a big gig before, but I always love going to gigs by Christian musicians as it always ends up being a bit of a cross between a rock concert and a worship special (for me anyway - might not be the same for everyone). I just really wanted to let go into the music and be open to what God wanted to say through the music.

In between bobbing up and down, I was reminded of quite a lot last night. Although at a gig the focus is usually on the band, my focus last night wasn't. It was past the band. I love Switchfoot's songs. They're so honest about the struggles they face and crying out to God in that, and so many of the songs I identify so much with. I was reminded of why I started to love their music so much in the first place - many of their songs have had a profound impact on me since last summer. In fact, I'd even go so far as to saying one or two of their songs were what helped me when trying to make a final decision about whether to do year team or not. In particular the song "This is your life" (Chorus: "This is your life, are you who you want to be?") and "I dare you to Move".

As well as being reminded of things past, I was also struck afresh by new things. The lyrics in the bridge of "on fire" really resonated with me last night: "I'm standing on the edge of me, I'm standing on the edge of everything I've ever been before". I do feel like that at the moment. This whole year, but especially through the mullers theology course I feel like, the best way I can describe it is as if I've been climbing up a mountain, and I've just reached a peak and am standing looking as a whole vast expanse opens up before me. The question is though, where do I go from here? Into the valleys ? I was also struck by the lyrics in another song, "Where you gonna go? where you gonna go? Salvation is HERE" Just how, actually, as well as the context of God being in that place last night there's also the whole: 'where else could I go that where I am now, because where else is salvation found but in Jesus ?' I can lose sight of that so easily. Reminded of that Bible passage, John6:60-71, where after many disciples desert Jesus because His teachings are too hard Jesus asks Peter whether He wants to leave too, but Peter replies: "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life".

Anyway, that's a 'brief' glimpse into the way I tend to think deeply about things, especially music ! I hope it might have helped others too, not just been a personal and very cryptic ramble. Last night was rather a trek/adventure in terms of getting to Swansea and back, and a very late night, but worth every minute of sleep I lost !!! (Was also interesting trying to decipher the American and thick Welsh accents we encountered last night - no offence to Americans or Welsh intended.) I was rather on a high last night, but - you know when you do something late at night you can wake up the next morning wondering if it was just a dream ? - I woke up wondering if last night was a dream. But I still had songs going round in my head, I had photographic evidence we'd been there too. It's difficult, when you have these highs to know quite how to come down gracefully. Because, though we might want to, it's not possible to live everyday quite like that. (I'm sure those of you who have been to things like Soul Survivor can identify here?) Although, it was good to have something which took me out of the ordinary and gave me fresh perspective for a while, how do I now hold onto that still, even when the memory of the gig fades ?

Making an effort vs being a branch

It was a first for me this morning. I went to Sainsbury's to do my weekly food shop as usual. But this morning, to carry my shopping back I used no plastic bags ! I've discovered the heavy duty bags that Sainsbury's sells (50p each) which are designed to be reused for each shop. I had two of these this morning which held all my shopping. They're great. Not only is it good for the environment as I'm not using up plastic bags (which try as I might I always forget to take back to Sainsbury's the following week), but they are also a lot better for carrying shopping as they spread the weight better and don't break easily ! I might start using them for student lunch shopping too.

It's amazing isn't it. Something so simple, yet I've only just started doing it. I think, subconsciously a lot of the time but nevertheless, I very often just assume that if I 'go with the flow' things will just happen, with no effort on my part. If I'm like that, with all that I know, then how can I expect others who know less to be any different ? I've been having a lot of eye-opening experiences this week, in the midst of a hard week. I spoke specifically about recycling bags, but I think this applies to all things. How often do I assume things like, making time for God will just happen, and that living for God will just come naturally? When a lot of the time they don't - there needs to be an effort and a choice on my part. For example, I know that I need to consciously carve time out for God during my week (am hoping that Woodies prayer week will help start me on that road). But on the other hand, although I need to seek God, at the same time, as Jesus said in John 15*, we are branches in the vine, and we can do nothing without Him. There is another sense in which the branch doesn't have to strive, but the sap which flows through it does the work. There's a danger in going too far the other way, and thinking that everything is completely up to me (both traps I have been falling into the last few weeks, if not far longer). So many things (in fact, most things in my limited experience) in this life are about getting the balance between two extremes. Balance is such a hard thing. But then, sometimes just realising you are doing something is half of the battle.

Some of this stuff has come up from my year team review, some stuff from Devotion yesterday, some from Mullers, and some stuff just as I have been mulling things over in my head during the extra time that being ill somehow gives you. It applies to me, but if it challenges anyone else who reads my rambles and gives you food for thought too then I am extra glad. And remember, this all started with a simple plastic bag ! Any thoughts in response ?


*"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."
-Jesus speaking in John 15:5 (Italics mine)

"I WILL trust in You"

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything,

by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace that transends all understanding will guard

your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus". Philippians4:6 (NT)

"When I can't see You, I know You're there
When I can't feel You, I will not fear
I will trust in You, and I will not be afraid.

And when the battle is close at hand
I know You're with me to help me stand
I will trust in You and I will not be afraid.

I will not, be afraid
I will not, be afraid.
I will trust in You, I will trust in You."
-Danny Daniels, Vineyard Music.

Devotion and Ecclesiastes.

I know with my exams coming so fast and all, I need to be really strict at saying no, and need to keep things other than revision to a minimum...and I have been, mainly, but I did agree to go to Devotion last night to help out (Youth congregation at Woodies). I'm glad I did !!! It's only the second time I've been, actually both times I've been playing keyboard. It's just so amazing. I only wish I was better at being able to say the right things, e.g. better at introducing myself to people and better at being helpful in small groups...but I do still enjoy it, I think it's maybe something I'll get better at with time, and things are made slightly easier by the devotees who I know a little bit already - thanks guys (you know who you are).

The talk that they did was quite appropriate for me too, although I hadn't expected it at all. We were looking at friendship - what true friendship is. We first looked at the example of David and Jonathan in the Old Testament (I am actually reading 1 Samuel currently, and so that helped cause I knew the passage already) and what their friendship was like. That was challenging yes, but what struck home with me more was when Dave talked about friendships being like flowers - for them to grow, you need to water them, feed them...it takes effort. But sometimes they die before they're meant to, and it's cause we haven't looked after them. Other times, they die, and actually, that's ok, cause they were only meant for a season. And other times, you think they're dead, but then they flower again the next year. Dave read out the passage in Ecclesiastes 3:

"There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

A time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace."

But HOW do you know when the right time is ? How do you know when you need to make the effort to keep a friendship alive and how do you know when the right time is to let it die, because it's only been for a season ? This has come up for me another time before, but I feel is especially relevant now. I'm on the edge of finishing my degree in Bristol. I currently have no idea what I'm doing or where I'll be next year. But how do I even know if I should stay in Bristol, or whether I should let go, because great as it has been, it has only been for a season ? And how do I know whether I should try and keep up with everyone, or whether some friendships are also for a season only ? How ? In the book of Acts in the New Testament, when the disciples ask Jesus "Lord, are you at this present time going to restore the kingdom to Israel ?", Jesus replies: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by His own authority." But that is in a rather different context, and so does it apply here too or not ? And if we aren't to know, then...?

All I currently know is that this is a time for revision and working hard at exams. But beyond that, and when they finish, I don't know. For now I will just keep on working. But any comments or thoughts would be much appreciated. Thanks.