Chapter 4

And so, the time has come to fill you all in briefly on what is happening and has been happening in the world of Ro - although, apart from one or two people I'm aware of, I'm not entirely sure who reads blogs still; Facebook seems to have taken over from Blogger now really as the trendiest method of communication, but oh well...

Anyway, tomorrow is the day I move to Cambridge (well, when I say MOVE, it's complicated). For those who I haven't gotten round to telling yet, I now have a job there, working in a lab. I start this coming friday. I now also have a place to live - I am renting a flat, but the contract only begins on monday so I am staying overnight in a hotel tomorrow night, so I can get to work on friday. I also now have a car (which I love driving), which I somehow have to get up to Cambridge during the course of the next week or so, I think the plan atm is to drive it up at the weekend. It feels like there is a lot of change going on in my life at the moment, with everything happening at once - so many new things I have never had to think about before. But although I will miss everyone at home and in Bristol, and I'm really sorry that I won't be around to be a support to certain people, and although I feel nervous about starting somewhere new (although, not completely from scratch this time) I nevertheless do feel good about the move - it's a bit late to get out of it now anyway (!) I think it's the right thing for me at this time, if such a thing exists. I will feel a bit less hastled though and will be able to think about things more once I have moved and settled in ! I will be back, both to home and Bristol, to visit people and I would love it if anyone wanted to come to visit me, once I'm a bit settled.

Anyway, that's the short version of the story as it's all I have time for at the minute. I have things to go and sort out before tomorrow. (No more of this spending every waking hour on the internet - not that I have ever done that, but hey...) I hope everyone is well whatever they are all up to. I shall still try to post occasionally on here about how I'm getting on in Cambridge. But until the next time, so long ! Tomorrow chapter 4 officially begins...

The radical middle

Well, it's now been just over a week since I moved back home for a bit. I've been missing everyone in Bristol, despite having been glad to also see a few friends here and spend time with family, and I still very much feel like I'm trying to come to terms with everything that happened in Romania. (It was good, if slightly unexpected, though to see two friends from Woodies at Riverside for the morning service yesterday). I now won't be online tho much for the next month(ish) as this thursday we go away on holiday for a while (yet more foreign languages to pretend to be able to speak!). I don't know still what happens when we return. I'll have to play that by ear somehow. However, before I go I wanted to make a book recommendation...

I'm currently reading a book called "The quest for the radical middle - a history of the Vineyard". I haven't got a long way into it yet, but what I've read so far is very interesting. I'd recommend it not only those who have a history with Vineyard churches but also anyone who is interested in general Church history and also any Christian who knows what it means to be trying to hold together so many of the tensions of the Christian life.

Oh dear !

A slightly lighter post than my last one :-) It's another Eurovision final this saturday. Held in Finland, after getting distracted from work and looking through some of the acts (as shown on the BBC news website) I can see that it promises to be an interesting evening. Acts ranging from dance, to 'typical eurovision', to heavy rock and songs about vampires ! But have you seen the UK entry ? Honestly, go and watch the music video on their myspace. So funny (intentionally?) - I think (unless I am drastically mistaken) that the UK are due for another year of low points. The band has many similarities in my mind with Steps, not that it's entirely a terrible song completely, fairly catchy etc, but it's just so unoriginal - and it seems to be a balance between originality, so a song sticks out, and the kind of songs people always like that win (last year as an exception, where 'originality' did win it). I hate using the word cheesy, but if it applied anywhere, it would be here. The music video is so funny - the bit which finally cracked me up was where the whole plane starts bopping in time with the beat (go have a look). Well, we shall see what happens on sat. As we know, anything can happen at Eurovision. Personally, I quite like the entry from Serbia (no 3 in the BBC article) and I hope it gets through to the final and does really well (semi-finals tonight). And, much as I love the Swiss, I really hope that Switzerland do really badly (although, knowing Eurovision I doubt it unfortunately.)

In other news, I turned 22 last saturday ! (Hoorah!) I had a lovely restful weekend at home and am really grateful to everyone who sent me texts/facebook messages and cards etc. I have such amazing friends ! :-)

To continue on the theme of the North Wind...

I think that last post must have been pre-empting (if that's how you spell it) my return to Bristol ! It's been so wet and windy...today especially. Living as high up as I do at the moment, means the sound of the whistling wind is amplified, and with windows like skylights, at the moment it sounds a bit like someone has a chainsaw going just outside my window ! Means it's a bit chilly too in the communal areas as the wind whips through the vents !

But no matter. Wind just makes living here fun. I've been back in Bristol about a week and a half. It has been very mixed. As per usual, hard being back but good to see people. Had fun at the weekend as (among various things) on saturday the year team was helping to look after all the kids for a Henleaze Leaders' morning. Very fun, but also very tiring - I was helping with the 3-7s. They have a lot of energy ! (At the end of the morning we were trying to wrack our brains for all the "who can stand really still and quietly" games we could think of) :-) Also on sunday saw a friend who I haven't seen since about last May but who was in Bristol for the afternoon. Was good to have a long chat.

There have also been cold-type things going round the flats. I can't feel too sorry for myself as most of us have gone down with something or other, but I think most of us are on the mend. Just not what you really want to come back to in a new term - yesterday was the first time I've had to take time off from one of my placements due to illness. Due to not feeling amazing this week, I have been investing a fair bit of time in watching dvds on my laptop from bed. On tuesday evening I just finished Narnia (which I was watching in installments). Although I don't really like their portrayal of Aslan (but then again, how would they ever capture Aslan how he should be ?) on the whole I think the film is really well done. Somehow, a film can often bring out things which you didn't notice from reading the book. Primarily from the film I get the senses of how fast things happen, how scared they were (you always think an adventure is exciting until you're in one), how they'd been just sent away from one war only to join in another one. But another sense, is when Edmund meets the White Witch for the first time. She says to him that he's just the kind of boy who could be king of Narnia, and makes a load of promises to him (which she obviously doesn't keep). But it just strikes me that what she offers him is actually what he will actually become anyway through Aslan. Moving the analogy aside, isn't that so often true in real life ? That the things we get tempted by most are just shadows of what we can actually already have access to through Jesus (Aslan) ?

Anyway...enough of rambling...am feeling a little better today so am going to try and catch up with some things and do what I should be doing on a thursday. Didn't that post just feel like a Simpson's episode ? - where it starts with one thing and ends with something completely different, which you know must have been connected somehow in a weird kind of way ? And with that thought... :-D

Carols and other things...

It's not until you start (or rather try to finish) writing Christmas cards that you realise actually how widespread all over the country you now have friends (trying to find addresses for them is interesting). I knew I had a few good friends who weren't in Bristol any longer but I don't think it had hit me quite how many ! I'm so grateful to those friends I have still in Bristol and so grateful to have met so many new people this term...but a term still can't account for having known people, even for 3 years.

And yesterday has left me in a bit of a strange mood really. On one hand, I enjoyed the day so much ! The family service in the morning was amazing, and I felt very privilidged to be able to play Keyboard in the worship band with people who I'd not played with before. Then the carol service was amazing too. I loved having the privilidge of being in the choir (Jonathan James is such an amazing musician) and enjoyed singing. The church also looked SO beautiful with all the candles and lights...was so exciting as it was my first year I've been in Woodies for their carol service. But at the same time, it made me feel so homesick - that this IS the first year I've been in Bristol so late. (Amazing how you can be surrounded by SO many people, including a fair few you know, and yet feel so lonely and not having anyone to talk to.) Recently I've been wondering what I'm doing here. Is Bristol truly where I'm meant to be, or have I just been delaying the inevitable of moving on again ? Is hard, especially as when you're on year team you begin to get to know even more people at church and feel a bit more settled at the church (although at the same time less settled...?) Anyway...I shall stop rambling as I have to get on with the day (cards to write, debate to prepare for tomorrow, the church to clean etc...) Maybe I'm just feeling this way as I'm so tired and it's almost the end of term. I'll be home on wednesday. I'll see how I feel then.*

*Disclaimer: sorry for the ramble. Had to let it out somehow - should probably have done it in my journal rather than on the internet, but oh well. Feel free to just ignore my ramble. I'll probably feel differently tomorrow.*

Bath and other things

As it always is, these two weeks (last week and this) before the end of term are proving manic. So many things going on, and too much to do with too little time to do it in. Good things, just lots of them :-) But in the midst of that busyness, I've had a lovely couple of days this weekend. On saturday we went on a flat outing to the Bath Christmas market. It was fun to wander round, and great to hear the brass band playing and see all the Christmas decorations...we then came back and had our Christmas flat meal - lots of food, a secret santa, then lots of clearing up and a bit jamming session at the end :-)

Sunday (yesterday)...in the morning service several of my friends got baptised, which was really exciting! I was also asked to sing in the worship band, which I enjoyed - recently people have been getting me to sing more and more, and it's great. Singing at the front is never something I thought I could do. But I've always loved singing, and I love the fact that I can give that gift God's given me back to Him, and use it to help other people to worship Him too. It's really amazing ! (And I do feel ever so slightly less terrified singing on stage now than I did, so I can focus on worshipping more than on just hitting the right notes !) Then we had a reception and lunch for all friends and family of those who were baptised. Then a friend who was visiting Bristol for the weekend came round, we had a bit of a jam, then went to the Christ Church carol service together. Day was finished off with an amazing pizza (I highly recommend Pizza Provencal in Clifton), a bit more of a jam, then watching forest gump on tv with flatmates. All in all a good weekend.

And so...monday morning again. Ready to face another busy week ? Well, not really. But I'm sure it will be a good week. Just need to try to be sensible about fitting in enough sleep somewhere there ! :-)

(Bath Abbey, with one of the stalls of the Christmas market in front.)

Mehh...

Humpf. Have just downloaded Internet Explorer 7 by mistake, and I don't like it !! :-( The font is weird, and I keep going down to the taskbar to open my other webpages, forgetting that they're now tabs instead (obviously window's alternative to firefox). Also, I can't find the same options that I use - I don't know anymore how to change the privacy settings, save as favourites, or generally change any browser options. I guess I'll probably get used to it after a while of fiddling...I just don't like change :-P

In other news...I really enjoyed the pub lunch and walk with W3 on sunday afternoon. (For some photos see the w3 blog ). It was very very muddy on the walk and I only just got back in time for being on duty by the skin of my teeth (well, I was a few minutes late, but Lois will have to forgive me) but it was great to feel like being family together. I sat with a few W3 people on sunday night too. Really feel like I'm starting to get to know a few people :-)

Also, Livesoc last night went ok. I was quite critical of my performance (as I guess a performer always is) and knew I could have sung better, but I had some very positive comments from people, so apparently it was ok :-) And I enjoyed the rest of the evening too, a couple of non-livesoc good friends came along and I sat with them. The headlining band (Bizali) were awesome :-)

Fireworks !!!

Yaaay !!! Fireworks are so pretty ! (I'm quite pleased with how my photos came out actually). Had a really good evening. A friend came round at 5.30, we had supper then walked up to the fireworks. I did actually meet several people I knew (even in that huge crowd!) I also managed to meet up with W3 pastorate people (the pastorate at Woodies which I've just started going to), and walked back with them, and sat with them while they all ate curry. Was very cool. I also always think it's so amazing, just that sheer number of people walking back down Whiteladies Road after the fireworks on the Downs. It must be one of the few events in the year where the whole of Bristol seems to come together. Amazing.

Anyway...what's all this rubbish about me spending less time on the internet :-P But I had actually better go get some sleep now, especially as I'm only just starting to recover from being a bit ill ! So goodnight for now, and I hope everyone else had good bonfire night saturday evenings too :-)

Driving and superheroes

(Btw, the two words in the title are not related in any way, I shall just be talking about both of them. Just to clear that one up !)

I never thought that I would say this, but I have just gotten back from my second driving lesson in Bristol, and I actually enjoyed it ! I actually am starting to like driving ! Today we did some clutch control exercises (which involved me overcoming my fear of moving backwards down hills), did some reversing in a 'quiet road', and started learning to do turns in the road (which I did two of, doing it in 3-points both times!) And although my legs ache a little now, and it was quite scary learning to do hillstarts, I did enjoy it. My instructor here is really cool. We seem to get on well, and he's really encouraging, which is what I need really ! So, with weekly lessons now happening, hopefully I'll keep progressing, and will at some point in the future get to test standard ! Tres exciting.

Now...the other topic in the header...this is a debate which was started this morning, due to a flatmate talking about a superhero fancy dress party he went to last night. He wasn't wearing a costume, but as he had a black coat on, someone suggested that he looked like Neo (you know, from the Matrix). Debate followed as to whether Neo counts as a 'superhero' or not. Google defines a hero as: "a man distinguished by exceptional courage and nobility and strength" whereas a superhero is: "A superhero is a fictional character who is noted for feats of courage and nobility and who usually has a colorful name and costume and abilities beyond those of normal human beings". i.e. a hero seems to be someone (often who is a real person), who is just a normal person, but who shows great courage etc...whereas a superhero has abilities beyond a normal human. But where is the line ? Is Neo just an ordinary person, who achieves great things, or does he have 'powers beyond a normal human' ? I guess part of the problem is that I've always thought of superheroes to wear funny coloured costumes and be able to fly (at which point, someone points out that Neo could fly in the 3rd film of the trilogy)...So, what does anyone else think ? Is Neo a 'superhero' ? :-)

p.s. It is very almost the year anniversary of the start of this blog, and almost the 100th post. If I am careful, I might be able to coincide the two ! Now that would be exciting. :-D Oh dear !

p.p.s. Anyone else going to the fireworks tonight on the downs, I hope you enjoy them, and who knows I may bump into people there !

Yaaay !!!

We have internet !!!!!!!! At last. (Though I really shouldn't speak too soon, having only just been connected it seems to be a little tempermental, as I had great difficulty getting to the page on blogger to let me post ! It also keeps dropping me from the network. Hmmm.) But it is a start. I probably won't be spending much more time on the net than I have been recently, due to no time, but it does mean I can keep on top of e-mails bettter and hopefully reply to people sooner (sorry to those of you who e-mailed me over a month ago but have not heard anything back. Replies will be on the way soon now). I will also not need to visit the internet cafe again - you know you've spent far too long somewhere when you start to recognise all the staff who work there, and they recognise you !!!

Although it has been stressful and difficult, for many reasons, I think the lack of internet has been good for me. Has made me realise just how dependent I am on it, and just how much people expect me to reply instantly to everything ! So, although I am back officially, I will try to cut back on the amount of 'non-essential' time I spent on the net.

In other news...I am STILL covered in glitter. We had amazing fun at IMPS (mums and toddlers at Henleaze) this morning with a bonfire night themed craft involving glitter for making firework pictures. Very, very, very messy, but great fun too :-) Only regret is that I didn't get to make a picture too :-) Am looking forward to 'bonfire night themed student lunch' this friday, and the downs fireworks on saturday !

And so...

I am conscious of the fact that it has been about 2 weeks since my last update ! (*shock horror!*) Now I also know that in reality 2 weeks isn't a very long time, but in the life of a year-teamer it feels like a very long time, in the sense that a lot happens in 2 weeks !

I am doing well. Highlights of the last week include: meeting up with Lois to chat about how year team stuff is going (tuesday), chatting with lots of freshers yesterday at student lunch, being asked to and then playing in the Devotion band yesterday, and certain 'in-jokes' involving lots of foam (see Rhys' blog). All in all, a good week. But you know the feeling when you get to the weekend and think 'well, what now ?'. When you get so caught up in planning a week, and making sure you know where you're meant to be when, that when it gets to the end of that time frame for which you have planned you feel a bit flat. That's not to say next week won't be great. I know I'll learn a lot more (seems to be a theme at the moment - though acting on stuff is more tricky), and I'll spend time with a few more friends who I haven't seen properly for a while, but I just need to try to make some space this weekend in the midst of all the running around I'm so good at doing just to reflect !

p.s. we're getting internet soon !!!!!!!!!! Goodbye internet cafe !

Whose fool are you ?

Take two of the really deep sainsburys trolleys, two year teamers (plus one other helper), one shopping list for student barbaques, 1 and 1/2 hours and what have you got...? It was highly entertaining doing the shopping for the last of the student welcome barbaques yesterday. We got some interesting looks and it felt rather amusing pushing so much stuff around sainsburys. To give you an idea...30 boxes of burgers, 8 packs of ham, 8 of chicken slices, one huge block of cheese, 100 doughnuts, 7 of those 24 multipack bags of crisps....and the list goes on. I've never bought so much food all at once ! It brought to mind the words of John Wimber when he said 'I'm a fool for Christ, whose fool are you ?' (I am sure that this year will bring plenty more opportunities to discover the meaning of that phrase !) The amusing amount of food we were buying did provide us with an amazing opportunity to explain to people what it was all this food was for and what we were doing. Am looking forward to student lunch shopping every week (although, hopefully those quantities won't be quite so high !)

Fresher's week went well overall I think, despite the rain towards the end of the week. Lots of students came to the barbaques; I enjoyed meeting new people as well as catching up with friends, in between running around like a mad thing or playing guitar. Was great fun playing some songs with Colse on thursday and friday as the 'live music'. Even more fun though was watching the Wrayster, Colse and Mr Dave Mitchell jamming some blues together at one point ! (I have photographic evidence to prove it). They sounded really, really good :-)

Here's hoping next week will be as good, but will somehow involve more sleeping and less running around (well, after my essay for tuesday gets somehow finished that is !)

p.s. to those who have written me e-mails and other things - thank you so much and I will reply at some point, when I have a little more time ! I'm not just ignoring you. (To say I have been busy this last week is a little bit of an understatement ! Good busy though.)

Update and new caption competition !

Hi everyone, yes I'm in the internet cafe again. Have had an interesting week. I really loved helping out with creches on wed and thurs this week at Henleaze over lunchtime - the kids are great, and as Rhys can testify I had great fun dressing up as a ladybird for them yesterday ! On wednesday though I hadn't previously been aware that it was possible to feel quite so exhausted ! (I imagine that it's going to be a common feeling this year). I was at Henleaze all morning (left the flat at 8.20am) got back about 2ish (?) and straight away we went to help with set up for the Alpha supper. I then got back to the flats at about 11.30ish pm, and the only break I had was about 45 mins at 5.30 to have a shower to try to de-greasify myself after having been stripping chickens a lot of the afternoon ! I slept well that night !!! Looking forward to fresher's week next week, having friends back for the start of term and also being able to welcome new students. Don't ask me how Steve managed to rope me into agreeing to play some songs as part of the 'live music' though !!!

Just before I go, may I point your attention towards a new caption competition by Rhys. I await the suggestions with interest !

Oh, and one more thing...I'm about to send out the first of my 'gap year' 'prayer newsletters'. I there is anyone reading this who doesn't receive it who would like to then let me know, praps in the comments section. Thanks.

I'm still alive !

I survived my first week and a bit as a year teamer :-) Am sitting in this internet cafe again (hopefully we'll get internet at some point !) and thought I'd therefore better post a quick post ! I'm fairly tired, and there are certain challenges already presenting themselves, but am enjoying things too. I do feel like I know the other year teamers a bit better now, especially after our retreat last week (- for some reason, chocolate brownies taste better when eaten off cocktail sticks, not sure why!) And I'm enjoying spending lots of time with them. The flats are getting a bit busier now, with more people moving in. I also start my placements this week, one of which is helping at Devotion (yaaay !) and we start the Mullers theology course tomorrow. So it's all going ok...just some more sleep is required at the moment, so this post is gonna be short (not sure whether it's that sweet) so I can go and get some food and then some sleep ! Longer more rambly posts will follow once I'm more awake :-)

p.s. anyone around in Bristol tomorrow evening, we're having a pirate party in the woodies student flats (to celebrate 'national talk-like-a-pirate day!) So feel free to drop by - 7.30 onwards, fancy dress optional but preferred !

A new chapter

So...having said I'd be off internet a while (!), I'm sitting here in this internet cafe (in some of my time off) having had my first morning of being an official 'Year Teamer' trying to get my head around all that has been happening in the last few days and how I can possibly sum it all up in a blog post! I think maybe the best way to sum it all up is by saying that God is so good !!! Before I got back to Bristol yesterday, to say I was a little scared was an understatement ! But getting back, God just helped everything to go so much more smoothly than I could ever have hoped for. Just little things - like the way I was offered a lift up from the station; the way my room has such an amazing view over a large amount of Bristol ( a view which I don't think I'll ever get over - I spent a good deal of time yesterday night just staring out of the window and watching the lights and stars awestruck); the way I was expecting to find it hard reintegrating into Bristol life but I just felt like I was coming home (my second home) from the minute I got here and throughout the Woodies evening service; the way the evening service yesterday touched on EXACTLY the same things which had been being prayer over me in our morning service back home; the way I keep bumping into people I know in the oddest of places; the way Lois and the other year teamers are so great...I could go on ! Since I made this decision another major worry has been whether I had done the right thing or not. But especially this morning at the staff meeting, I had a great encouragment that it was the right thing (if there is such a thing) and that God IS with me, and IS going to do amazing things this year. So, despite being currently fairly tired and overwhelmed a little, I'm really excited and don't know how I can contain it ! (Need to find a guitar to borrow methinks). Am looking forward to the many joys and the many challenges ahead of me.

This Year...

I know that I have just sent many of you who will be reading this a rambly mass e-mail, but for the sake of my blog let me repeat myself a little: Well everyone, I can now confirm that I will be in Bristol this year. In fact, I am moving back tomorrow. (Hence my current mad rush to finish sorting things out and the interesting-ness of trying to work out how I’m going to fit everything I need for 2-3 weeks – minimum- of self-catered living into the number of bags I can carry on a train without falling over. Those of you who know my tendency to always want to pack lots of stuff will realise how much of a challenge this is ! And I think I may be sleeping in a sleeping bag for a while !) Anyway…I’m rambling (again)…A few of you reading this will probably know, but some will be wondering how it is I have finally decided to spend this year: I am going to be part of the year team at Woodies this year !

Many of you who are likely to read this go to Woodies anyway and so will know (probably better than me) what this will entail, but for those who don’t…in short it’s a kind-of gap year programme (voluntary) where as part of a team you get to help out with loads of different things around the church, do some exciting church cleaning (Woo!), and we also get to attend a theology course which is run on Tuesday each week at Mullers. Developing one’s servant heart.

I am excited, but also very daunted too as it’s finally hitting me what I’ve gotten myself into and how soon I start. I know that I can’t do this year by myself and in my own strength, so continued prayer is still much appreciated, especially as I am settling back into Bristol and into a new routine of things next week.

I may be offline now for a fair time while I am settling in and until the internet gets sorted out in the Woodies Flats where I’ll be living (see Ruthie’s LJ). But those in Bristol I shall hope to catch up with some of you soon ! And hopefully I shall be able to write more thought-provoking (hopefully) posts soon, rather than just updates of what’s going on in the world of Ro ! (Interesting though they may be of course ! Umm…)

Sorry, the US and other things...

First of all, let me just say sorry to those of you who have been waiting for an account of my trip to the US (if there are any such people)...I hadn't forgotten, just have been rather preoccupied this week: what with trying to get over jetlag and swollen tonsils as well as trying to sort out next year (which is in a way moving rather fast but also proving fairly complex). Next year wise, I have made a decision of sorts, but don't feel able to say anything much here yet since there are still things to sort out. I will let you know in due course. But I can say that it is highly probable that I will be in Bristol for at next year at least.

Anyway...I should say that the US was amazing (although it feels rather a long time ago now, due to this being a rather long and very up-and-down week). We were there 3 weeks, 1 week in California, 1 week in Arizona and 1 week in Nevada (Las Vegas). All good weeks, but very different in their own ways. The US has some really amazing scenery, and seeing the Grand Canyon as well as all the other amazing formations in that area was truly amazing, and can't be described in words. The Grand Canyon is 270 miles around the rim, 10miles across and 1 mile down. Standing on the rim, you really begin to understand what the word breathtaking means ! Normally with these things, you'd say that it has to be seen to be believed, but in this case, I couldn't really take it in or believe it even when there ! Las Vegas feels a little like a giant theme park - down the main boulevard (The Strip) there are a large number of hotels/casinos, may of which have specific themes. You could spend longer than a week looking round them all ! Very bizarre driving down the road and seeing New York, complete with Statue of Liberty, then Paris complete with Eiffel Tower, Venice, a Roman Palace, a Circus, a Medieval Castle...! Sorry for being brief, but I couldn't even fully describe what we saw if I wrote a really mammoth post !

I'd better go for now. Won't be around (again) the next few weeks as I'm away (again). But I've very much appreciated reading other people's blogs, even if I haven't found the time to comment, so thank you. Good to hear all the news and know how people are doing. Those of you in Bristol, I will hopefully see you in September. In the meantime...any Christian friends of mine reading this, I would greatly appreciate prayer at the moment for everything I have to sort out for next year, in particular for help finding housing for next year, and also for God to be preparing me for September. Thanks :-)

Driving - Wooo !

Just come back from my second 2hr driving lesson ! Very tired, and a lot to try and remember, but I did a lot today ! I got up into third gear (=bout 30mph). Roundabouts, traffic lights, speed bumps, traffic queue, lots of turns, and I even got to drive us back to my house on the main roads ! Wow. It's not quite so scary once you're doing it - or rather it is, but in a different way from how I expected, cause you just get thrown into doing it, and don't have time to think and not want to drive, cause you have to ! Changing up gear isn't too bad either, I just still don't like going down again ! I also did stall several times at traffic lights, but still - not tooo bad. Everyone has to start learning at some point :-)

p.s. I haven't forgotten - proper description of holiday will come soon, just when I'm not so tired and have a little more time.

RE: It's official

"The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be"
-Switchfoot

As people may have guessed, I am now back in the UK for a little while (as of sunday middayish, but since then have been feeling very jetlagged and only now feel like doing anything really). Since being away, I have gotten into the band Switchfoot a lot - another band I now highly recommend for those of you who like music with a slightly more rocky edge (see my myspace profile page for a link to their myspace). I love their songs: amazing words and music ! The words above state how I feel every day - that there is so much I could be, but that that is so different from the reality of who I actually am, and that frustrates me so much (probably a good thing it does, but uncomfortable none the less). As I said in my other post, as I see more and more, I see more of my weaknesses. But I'm also learning that I'm not going to change them by myself (believe me, I've tried. Tho that doesn't mean I have nothing to do!) I'll only change, not by merely struggling to be a better person and to ignore things, but only by looking to Jesus and who He is, and allowing Him to transform me. I just have to keep looking at Him. (Far easier said than done though).

"Everyday, I see more of Your greatness.
Everyday, I know more of my weakness Lord.
And I can only hope that I'll be changed.
Even as I look upon Your face.

For the eyes of my heart are on You forever,
They're on You forever"
-Matt Redman

It's official !

Well, I am now officially a graduate from Bristol University ! Yesterday we went up to Bristol for the day for the ceremony etc. It felt a little surreal at times- I don't think it's yet sunk in (still) that I've finished. Plus, everything went so fast, in a bit blurr, and were so many people I wanted to say hi to...It was great to see course mates again (most of them had come), although for some reason it didn't feel like it had been nearly 2 months since I've seen most of them. I have some nice photos from the day, plus a swish DVD of the ceremony (since anything before I went up on the stage I didn't really take in anything, due to being so scared !)

The speech at the end made me think a lot, especially when he started talking about us taking a moment to look back at the people we were when we came to Bristol, and the people we are now. It's funny, cause in myself I don't feel like I've changed - coming back home I still have the same weaknesses and struggles that I did before, and although I'm maybe more aware of some of them now, I don't feel like I've gained much ground. But then, I think I probably have changed. When I think back over all the experiences I've had these 3 years and all the amazing people I've met, not to mention all the things I've done - many of which I wouldn't have even contemplated before uni, but was able to do with the support of good friends, I think that I probably have changed, even if I'm myself not aware of it.

Anyway...reflection over for the minute...I must now sign off blogger for a while, as I'm going away for a few weeks. I have a few things to sort out and the small matter of packing to think about before then, but I will be back, and will post an update then. Take care everyone. x