Various plugs

Two things to plug (thought they’d just get lost if I put them in that mammoth last post!):

1)The Love Bristol Festival
Do have a look at the blog that's just been set up. It will have lots of updates, prayer requests, competitions, freebies and a place to interact. And as Jammin said on his blog, those of you who live in Bristol (and aren’t going to be away during that week, *cough*) do think about whether you could help out, either during the week with the practical stuff, or just by committing to pray for the events. It’s such an amazing opportunity this summer.

2) Bristol Festival of Nature
Ok, Second plug: this coming weekend is the Bristol Festival of Nature. This means that there will be lots going on in the area of The Watershed/Docks/Wildwalk…There are talks, walks, boat trips, workshops, a ‘real food’ market...I went along to a couple of events at the last weekend they ran, and it was not only really fun, but I learnt a lot too. So, if anyone (in Bristol) has a spare hour or so, do come down and join in. Even if none of the talks grab you, or you don’t have time to go to any of the proper events, just wandering around the area and seeing all that is going on is good fun (plus the food market is always good!) So check out the programme of events. Some of the climate change and sustainability talks look particularly interesting this time round.

Back again again

Well, where to start ! (This is the problem with such a ‘long’ time from blogging). I got back to Bristol on Wednesday afternoon after having spent several days in St Andrews and then a bit of a longer weekend than originally planned at home.

I guess I should start from where I left off last. My last exam was okish – the questions were nice, or so I thought at least, but being so exhausted after those few intense weeks I think my essay structure suffered a little despite the niceness of the qus. But it was done anyway. The biochemists then had a good time going to the pub and then for a meal together (tho I decided not to then go with them to the club as I was so tired). My mood was a bit odd that night. I guess it was mainly just the complete exhaustion. People kept saying that I should be excited to be finished, but to be honest, that night I just felt so tired and like collapsing in a small heap and crying my heart out !

I felt a bit better the next day. It was all a bit manic though – packing and then meeting some biochemist friends for smoothies (I recommend Shaken Stephens on Park Street to anyone who hasn’t been) and then lunch. I then dashed to get a bus to the airport. What then happened was amazing: I was really nervous about travelling to St Andrews by myself, mainly because I’d never flown by myself before (and I don’t like airports even when I am with other people). But, I happened to meet a fellow Biochemist in the Bristol departure lounge, and discovered that she was flying to Edinburgh too, so we were able to travel together to Edinburgh airport and then to the station. I then had to work out how to get the train to Leuchars (which I got about 2 mins after having come into the station) and then happened to sit next to someone who was travelling to St Andrews too, so was able to guide me etc. Amazing. I didn’t have time to feel scared, or even to do any of the things which I’d brought with me to do on the journey !

I loved being in St Andrews ! It’s all so beautiful up there, I kept wanting to take photos of everything (so I now have a large number to sort through!) It was the first time I’d been to see Charly, although she’s visited me in Bristol twice now. It was great to see where she’s been living, to meet some of her friends, to get a tour of the town…we had much fun together (although not much sleep). It was especially fun flying a kite (which we named Dougal) and playing Frisbee (Frank) on the beach and proceeding to get sunburnt ! (We had beautiful weather, but cause it’s so windy by the coast there, you don’t realise quite how hot it is !) It was also amazing just how many other people I ‘bumped into’ that I knew, but had forgotten were also in St Andrews. Was good to get up to date with all their news !

So I was in beautiful Scotland until Friday afternoon, when I then flew to Heathrow (after a slight delay in the airport) and spent a few days at home. The Saturday was my Uncle’s wedding, the Sunday we all went out for my G’pa’s birthday. The Tuesday I went to see X-Men III with my brother – a very good film, I recommend it, but I thought it was quite sad though. Then back to Bristol on Wednesday, just in time to go to a friend’s house and then to the theatre for her birthday !

I now just feel, after all this excitement, that I want a few days of doing not much ! Yesterday I was attempting to work through my list of ‘things I need to do but will put off until after exams’ – just admin type stuff, alongside a few other things, like cooking/cleaning/playing guitar and singing (I meant to practise for only ½ an hour, but ended up staying in the union practise room for an hour and ½ !!!) Today will probably be more of the same, with CU this evening – it will be nice to go, as I haven’t been able to go for a very long time !
So…there you have it. Whether you wanted to know or not, there is a brief summary of what I’ve been up to for the last week and a bit ! Is a very strange feeling not needed to revise (I still keep feeling like I should be doing some). But it is nice that now I’m finished, I can try to do lots of things to help those who haven’t yet. I’m looking forward to all the exciting things coming up, but not so much to thinking seriously about next year…but I need some time to rest first…maybe next week ?!!

The end in sight...

Well, 5 down and one left to go tomorrow afternoon. It will be a relief when they are over, as I don't think I could carry on like this for very much longer (at the end of my own strength reserves as it is). However, when they are over, it begs the question - what now ? That is the question that I have tried to put off so much this year, but is at last going to rear it's head properly again. I struggled to work at first yesterday, since this thought caused something near panic to arise. But I did manage eventually to get it under control so that I could work (-no point in getting myself worked up, until after exams anyway, lol). Also, a walk helped - Recently I have been so concerned with staying in and not letting myself get persuaded to go out, that I think I may have gone too far in fact. I'd forgotten that I'm a person who just isn't really meant to be kept indoors.* I intended to walk to a park in clifton and revise outside for a while, but ended up just sitting there and lapping up the bird song, the sounds of everything around me, watching people go past...I'd forgotten just how much I need that to be refreshed.

Anyway...must stop rambling and get back to work. Before I do, can I just apologise to all readers for the fact that this blog has become so serious in times past. I think that probably just reflects my current moods. Also, I do intend to blog on the reason why I blog at some point, but for now can I just say that the point for these posts is in no way to gloat that I finish earlier than other people: I can't change the fact that the biochemists decided to cram everything as tightly as possible into a few shorts weeks so that we finish so much earlier than everyone else. But what I can do is try to put the time I do have to good use. I will continue to think of all those who do still have exams and revision (I know what it's like!) I will actually be away from blogging for a short while now, as the day after my last exam I am going away for a few days -to visit a good friend in St Andrews and then a long weekend at home. But I shall return, and hopefully it will be with good news of how my last exam went well ! Take care everyone.

*Although, having said that...looking out of my window at the currently heavily downpouring rain, I rather think I prefer to stay indoors just at the minute !

"My strength and my song"

Well, I didn't know that finals were going to be quite so hard. I'm now well into my week of hardcore revising and exams. Yesterday, I was re-going over everything for the exam I had this morning. But in the early evening, when I still had a bit to go through, I started feeling really rough. Because of that, in spite of wanting lots of sleep before exam, was unable to get to sleep - I think I finally managed to drop off just after midnight. Thought it might be better in the morning. But then was a bit worried this morning - although slightly better than last night, was exhausted from lack of sleep, still had a massive headache etc. and couldn't really concentrate on what I still had to go through. Was wondering how I was ever going to concentrate for 3 hours in an exam ! So I did the only thing I could do - pray. (And asked a couple of friends to pray too - though I only had limited time to send texts). Trying to focus on God rather than my throbbing head (which isn't an easy task).

The exam was 9.30-12.30 this morning. I got in there, and although the questions were horrible, managed to write some reasonable answers I think. I did manage to focus, my headache seemed to lift a bit, and I actually enjoyed answering to be honest ! The qus, although on specific units, needed info from the whole course, which was fun to try to pull together !

Seeing as I like baffling people with biochemistry, just so you get the idea, here are the exam questions I answered this morning:
1) Explain why mutations and loss of heterzygosity of the PTEN tumour suppressor gene are so prevalent in human cancers.

2) Using examples, describe at the molecular level the ways in which small GTPases act to regulate cell signalling pathways. How do the properties of these signalling proteins suit them to these roles.

3) Discuss the different strategies that proteins use in their interactions with damaged bases in DNA.

Bet you didn't understand that ! (Unless you're Ellie or another biochemist of course).

Anyway...so to sum up: I'm now 4 exams down. If I do ok in these exams it'll all be down to God: helping me and giving me the strength and concentration I need. I am now even more exhausted, among other things, but hopefully I'll sleep better tonight. Ready for revising the next topics for friday. Continuing to take things one day at a time. Hope everyone's revision is going ok. :-)

"I WILL trust in You"

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything,

by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace that transends all understanding will guard

your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus". Philippians4:6 (NT)

"When I can't see You, I know You're there
When I can't feel You, I will not fear
I will trust in You, and I will not be afraid.

And when the battle is close at hand
I know You're with me to help me stand
I will trust in You and I will not be afraid.

I will not, be afraid
I will not, be afraid.
I will trust in You, I will trust in You."
-Danny Daniels, Vineyard Music.

Devotion and Ecclesiastes.

I know with my exams coming so fast and all, I need to be really strict at saying no, and need to keep things other than revision to a minimum...and I have been, mainly, but I did agree to go to Devotion last night to help out (Youth congregation at Woodies). I'm glad I did !!! It's only the second time I've been, actually both times I've been playing keyboard. It's just so amazing. I only wish I was better at being able to say the right things, e.g. better at introducing myself to people and better at being helpful in small groups...but I do still enjoy it, I think it's maybe something I'll get better at with time, and things are made slightly easier by the devotees who I know a little bit already - thanks guys (you know who you are).

The talk that they did was quite appropriate for me too, although I hadn't expected it at all. We were looking at friendship - what true friendship is. We first looked at the example of David and Jonathan in the Old Testament (I am actually reading 1 Samuel currently, and so that helped cause I knew the passage already) and what their friendship was like. That was challenging yes, but what struck home with me more was when Dave talked about friendships being like flowers - for them to grow, you need to water them, feed them...it takes effort. But sometimes they die before they're meant to, and it's cause we haven't looked after them. Other times, they die, and actually, that's ok, cause they were only meant for a season. And other times, you think they're dead, but then they flower again the next year. Dave read out the passage in Ecclesiastes 3:

"There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

A time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace."

But HOW do you know when the right time is ? How do you know when you need to make the effort to keep a friendship alive and how do you know when the right time is to let it die, because it's only been for a season ? This has come up for me another time before, but I feel is especially relevant now. I'm on the edge of finishing my degree in Bristol. I currently have no idea what I'm doing or where I'll be next year. But how do I even know if I should stay in Bristol, or whether I should let go, because great as it has been, it has only been for a season ? And how do I know whether I should try and keep up with everyone, or whether some friendships are also for a season only ? How ? In the book of Acts in the New Testament, when the disciples ask Jesus "Lord, are you at this present time going to restore the kingdom to Israel ?", Jesus replies: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by His own authority." But that is in a rather different context, and so does it apply here too or not ? And if we aren't to know, then...?

All I currently know is that this is a time for revision and working hard at exams. But beyond that, and when they finish, I don't know. For now I will just keep on working. But any comments or thoughts would be much appreciated. Thanks.

Another one down.

Viva has been and gone. Wasn't as bad as it could have been. Prof Rivett was really nice, even if the viva was a bit intense, and she did ask me lots of things which I had to try and think quickly for. Anyway...main thing is that it's done. Now have to concentrate on finishing revising hard for next lot of exams, despite all that's going on in the next few days.

Actually, although the viva was tiring and intense, I came out of the department really happy today - mainly cause it gave me an excuse to see my supervisors and some of the other people I worked with in the lab. They're all so lovely and I do miss them ! They were all really encouraging, and trying to give me lots of advice for the exams etc.

Also, it feels really strange in a way (for me). There seem to be so many people who have such confidence in me, and such high expectations - more than personally I see in me. That includes supervisors, family, friends...I can't really think of a way to express myself, I don't mean that in a negative - oh there's too much pressure - way, but just in a - I have quite a responsibility, and even if I don't see it in myself, other people think I've been entrusted with a lot, and I want to live up to that - way. I had quite an appropriate card actually from my godparents in the states for my birthday. It said: "On your birthday, you should realize just how special you are...everyone else does". Well, for the moment, just knowing that everyone else does will have to be enough to keep me going. I'm just going to keep trying to do my best, which is all I can do, and to keep letting God be "my strength and my song".

Back in Bristol again

As the post title implies, I am now back in Bristol - again. Got back about 3 or so hours ago, and since then have been unpacking, sorting, chatting, catching up with housemates. Was good to be at home ( did have a good birthday, and did get lots of work done too) but is also good to be back, for different reasons. But I now just have to get back into the revision pace which I was getting into at home, especially as I have a viva tomorrow afternoon which I have not had time yet to do much preparation for, due to frantic revision of other things (am very slightly off revision schedule, but hopefully I can bring it back again before tomorrow). So, I shall keep this post short and go and revise apoptosis then read through my project again before food and bed. I just wanted to keep everyone posted. Hope everyone is well.

p.s. as you can see, I have recently discovered the joys of short and frequent posts (well... short and frequent for me that is!) I think it will remain that way until after exams, so that I am still present on the blogosphere a little bit, but don't have to spend very long on internet when I need to revise. I may post long rambly posts again after I finish. Or then again...by the way things are looking so far, I may not be all that less busy after exams; just I'll be doing other things !

I'm old(er)

Well, I'm now officially 21 ! (As of about 9.09am this morning). I have to say, I don't feel 21, in fact I don't feel any different from yesterday. (I think I'm actually still stuck with thinking I'm about 16 - I now have to think hard before I answer any questions from people who ask me how old I am !!) But then, I think that's probably always going to be true !

I had some time off this morning, and went shopping with Mum. Will have tonight off too, and tomorrow evening we're going to the theatre. But for just now, I have about 4 hours or so in which to get some more revision done...back to ABC transporters, woo !!

p.s. I hope everyone's enjoying the AMAZING weather !!! (Makes me wish I'd brought some of my summer skirts back home with me !)

p.p.s. I haven't opened many presents yet, but Mum, Dad and Al did get me a REALLY cool helium balloon (haven't had a helium balloon for a long time !) See the photo for yourself :-)

My housemates are amazing !

(It was maybe just as well I didn't get to go to the Louisiana gig tonight). After Vicki 'subtly lured me' downstairs at about 10, I found that they'd made me this amazing cake, and blown up lots of balloons, and got me some presents, and made me a really cool card (with a tail on it - not many people can say they have a 21st birthday card with a pink tail on it, lol.) Was so cool. Completely unexpected, but amazing. We then remained downstairs for the next few hours and they proceeded to introduce me to this programme called Lost - which a few of you may have heard about recently ;-) It's very weird...but strangely addictive too. I had resisted throughout series 1, but I may have to give in to series 2 - especially if it's going to continue being a house event, which is quite fun really. However, not really what I need during exams - another TV programme to get addicted to ! Now to get some sleep, before getting the train home tomorrow morning, so I can have another 21st birthday on my proper birthday on friday :-)

Amusing sign

This made me laugh this evening, so I thought I'd share it with you all:



I took it from this site. Some very amusing photos. In other news, my head got to the point at about 6 this evening where it felt like it was going to explode with all the information in it ! I had a couple of hours break to cook and eat supper, but I think I'll now have to stop for the day now and get some sleep and come back fresh tomorrow. Too much to learn in 2 weeks. Am going home again on wednesday for about a week which will be good.

Regressing back to childhood

Well, ok, 'useful' things will have to wait. I think I did need a break this afternoon. We had so much fun ! Went to have coffee with a couple of good friends, and we then ended up going to Brandon Hill park, and having much fun there - involved 'Pirates', bushes, racing up hills, going on swings...generally having a good laugh together. Have been out for 2 and 1/2 hours. Haven't laughed so much in a while. I'm still tired, but less so than before. And I feel more refreshed and ready to get back to it for a while.

2 down, just 4 to go...

...or 5 if you include my project viva I have at some point. As of this morning I have now completed 52% of my degree ! (Ouch). It was data handling this morning. It went slightly better than the one on wednesday (at least I am pretty confident I at least passed this one), but I still ran out of time majorly - but then again, I think very few people finished.

I now have a couple of weeks (to revise in) before my next 4 which come pretty much one after the other for a week - aren't biochemists nice ! I may go home for part of the time though, especially as my birthday is next week (21 - can't believe it !)

I am shattered though now. I feel 3 and 1/2 hours is too long for an exam - so hard to concentrate that hard for that long. It was nice though to go for lunch after with some biochemistry friends, so I only got back in about an hour ago (hence my sudden reapearance on the net). I will now sort a few things out, and then try and decide what to revise tomorrow - i.e. generally trying to do 'useful' things, but which aren't too strenuous.

And I continue my previous sentiments - do all keep me updated as to how you're all doing, and if there's stuff coming up that I can pray for.

Post-first exam thoughts...

this will have to be fairly quick, since I am in great need of sleep !

Haha. Thanks Rich and Jammin. Umm, the exam didn't really go that well - ok, it was terrible. Not something I could have done anything about with anymore revision though, it was mainly cause I seriously ran out of time. I'll be lucky if I got 40% in that one.

Still, I'm trying to forget about it now, and concentrate on revising for the next one on friday (eek). Or at least, I am now I had a good let out of emotions and some listening to 'heavy' rock music earlier (or at least heavy for me) :-) (After which I do feel a little better).

I do feel very tired now - all my limbs ache a lot, which I think always happens when I'm really tired or have put a lot of work into something...(so my mum tells me, since she gets it too). But I do feel really blessed to have so many good friends who are so concerned about how I'm doing. So THANK YOU so much to all of you, you know who you all are. I know that you all have exams and stuff and generally a lot on too, so it does mean a lot. I do really hope that you're all doing ok. (Btw, I do feel a little self-centred writing all this stuff. But if there are exams/deadlines etc coming up for other people, do let me know, and I'd love to be praying for specific things if I can.)

I will try to keep going, even though I'm not sure how I will get through - even with so many supportive people around me. It's 'only just' started, and already I want it to end, and I want to go home again...But then, I need to try and remember how I've been got through in past years when I haven't thought I'd be able to. I'm sure He'll get me through again somehow ! Night night !

Exam thoughts...

Well, first one is tomorrow. I don't feel ready in the slightest. I think it's also partly a case of disbelief - it's hard to believe that after tomorrow I'll have completed precisely 46% of my final degree. Weird huh. Isn't it so weird trying to think that after however many years it has been of education, the climax is now within the next month, after which...I'll end up with a bit of paper which will supposedly tell everyone how good I am at my subject. Hmmm. How can anyone ever be defined by a bit of paper ? On paper I might appear to be really amazing - have had almost top marks the past 2 years, amazing work experience, impressive sounding projects, done a lot in spare time...but in reality, well, the story's a lot different. I may have all that on paper, but does that really mean anything ?

I guess I'm rambling now - probably cause I'm tired. I've never seen uni as about getting a bit of paper really. I just wanna understand all this Biochemistry stuff ! (Was actually quite fun today when things started clicking into place. Only worrying thing is it doesn't seem to be staying there !) But thinking of it as above, I spose in order to try to scare myself into working harder or because I don't feel like I'm as stressed as I 'should be', just feels strange. Any other final years feel/felt the same ?

Anyway...can't do anymore now. Nothing else is going in, or has been for the last few hours. So I think some sleep is in order within the next hour. I shall perhaps give a progress report tomorrow.

(p.s. I finished Season 1 last night !!! Need to find somewhere I can buy season 2 now...)

And so it goes...

Well, brief update on what's gone on with me since Easter - I am now back in Bristol, and trying to get used to it again; projects are due in tomorrow (thankfully finished last week); exams start on wednesday, spent several hours removing a virus from a housemate's computer this afternoon (glad to have been able to help, but was certainly interesting), am very tired (due to sun waking me up ridiculously early, certain nightmares last night, and being back in Bristol - I never sleep well first night in a different place. Hopefully tonight will be better). I'm not complaining in any way, just stating facts. It's all ok though - exams will be over soon (far too soon probably). Church was good this morning - very good to see many good friends again, and a good service. Will try to be strict with amount of time spent on internet these next few weeks, so may not be around much, but I shall maybe do brief posts like this one from time to time. I hope everyone else is doing ok, and all the best to those with project deadlines and exams coming in the near future.

For sunday...

HAPPY EASTER everyone !

Life, the universe, and everything...

Well, maybe a bit of an ambitious title, but I'm not feeling very creative today (anyone else find that the title is nearly always the hardest part of a post to write ?!) And so much for possibly not posting again before Easter ! Anyway...just wanted to note down this observation:
Over the course of the time I was away, I obtained several CDs and tapes (most of which were in bargin bins at Spring Harvest, so don't worry I didn't go mad and spent very much money, as all but 2 (1 was a present for someone) of the CDs were about 50p/£1. Is just a good way at learning lots of new songs quickly for cheap I find). Anyway...back to the point...despite the fact that I bought these few CDs, I think my favourite new CD has to still be the one I got for free - the New Root's acoustic set from the Louisiana (you can listen to the tracks from Ben's website). I have now lost count of the number of times I have listened to it. I still love it ! Now, cheesy as this is going to sound - shows you the best things in life come for free; like good friends and ummm the New Root CD...Well anyway, I do think the New Root acoustic gig sounds amazing. Do go and have a listen, and I'll just hope that Ben doesn't mind me linking his site ;-)

Garfield comic strips

Hehe. On a completely different note from my earlier post: My brother just sent me a link to this site where you can create your own Garfield comic strips ! Try it, it's fun. He also created this strip below (very amusing I thought, so thought I'd share it with you all since I have a blog for this kind of thing...) Enjoy. See, I can do short posts ! :-)

"There and back again" - a Spring Harvest tale by Ro...

Yesterday afternoon I completed the full circle (or technically I spose it was a triangle) by arriving back in Reading, from where I began my journey to Spring Harvest (if you don't include my journey from home to Reading before getting a lift). It did feel a bit like I'd just completed something. Anyway...I'm rambling...

I have just had an awesome week and weekend. Last week (mon 3rd-sat 8th) I was, as I said in my last post, in Skegness at Word Aive Spring Harvest 2006. If I were to attempt to write about everything that happened last week then the blog post would become so long that even the most dedicated readers of this blog would probably give up partway through ! I can try to summarise though and mention a few specific things. I can say that I learnt loads (which will take me probably the next year to process) and had great fun. There were about 75 of us from the Bristol Christian Union, and I also had a chance to catch up with a few other people I know from elsewhere. We were (as usual) staying in flats/chalets of 6 people; I was with one of my housemates and 4 guys from Bristol cu. Our chalet was such fun - at this point I could tell many hilarious stories, including the one about the duck and chilie, or the eating peas from a bowl, or the 'exile into Babylon', but that would take too long so I will just have to leave you in suspense :-D Seriously though, it was really great to get to know some of the guys in our chalet better, and I especially appreciated chats with one in particular who I went to the morning sessions with.

Each day at Spring Harvest I went to a 'Bible reading' and then 'understanding and applying the Bible using Exodus as an example' in the morning. In the afternoon there were a range of seminars, but other than the subject related or worship leading related ones I mainly chilled in the afternoons. The evenings were time to cook and eat together before going to the student celebrations (imagine thousands of students from all over the country coming together to praise God) and then some nights I did go to hear various people playing (YFriday again, Electrolyte, Kristyn Getty, Andy Flannagan), followed by various parties/gatherings in chalets. In the student celebrations we were looking through the book of Colossians in the New Testament. In Colosse at the time there seem to have been false teachers there, saying that what they had heard wasn't all they needed to do to be Christians and to be saved, that there was all this extra stuff they needed to do too...but in this letter of Colossians Paul, the writer, was saying no, that's not true. To know God, and to be in relationship with Him, all you need is JESUS, nothing more, nothing less. Yes, things like praying are good (vital in fact), but NOT the means by which we are saved. Jesus comes first; these other things come afterwards as a response. So we were looking through this book and looking at what it means to be an authentic Christian. On a similar note actually, on the way back yesterday I happened to glance at a magazine in WH Smiths which claimed to have all you needed to know on the confusing issue of religeon in it. It compared various 'religeons', looking at when they originated and what they said concerning big issues of life. I was quite concerned over what it said about Christianity. It said, what I think is the false belief of a lot of people, that to be a Christian and 'get to heaven' you have to follow what Jesus says and do 'good things'. When in fact, that's basically what this letter to the Colossians was about - that that's not true. Being a Christian first and foremost means that you believe that in dying on the cross (at Easter in fact) and then rising from the dead 3 days later, JESUS took the punishment that EACH of us deserve, for all the wrong things we have done, and the way we want to go our own way and turn from God, our creator. That it's only through Jesus we can be 'reconciled'(1) 'reconciled'(2) to God, NOT through doing good things, and that we can then be restored to having a relationship with God ! Sorry for long rant - wasn't intended, but talking about these things again gets me excited, and saddens me so much that we so often think we know what Christianity is all about, but actually a lot of the time people don't have the amazing, exciting, full story ! Christianity is all about a person, Jesus, and being in a relationship, NOT about following a set of rules and regulations to earn your way to heaven. If anyone does want to know more about this issue, of who Jesus really is, what He did and why He did, then I'd encourage you to either come back at me (in the comments or you can post your e-mail address if you'd rather everyone else not read something too, and I can e-mail you), or take a look at this page on the website of my home church, which probably expresses it better than I just did ! Also, this site has a lot of helpful articles on specific barriers/big questions people may have, such as why does a God of love allow suffering etc...

Back to talking about Spring Harvest - after probably the biggest tangent I've had yet on my blog (though I don't regret it in the slightest!) Other things I was reminded of, apart from how exciting things are, were: how fragile life is. Now, although I may often seem pretty together as a person, I know that although I don't often admit it even to myself, I am so broken and messed up in so many area of life - so much so that it got a bit overwhelming at one point during the week. But then I was reminded that God is the God who brings healing and wholeness; that maybe it's only when I admit how broken I am, that He can start working in me to put the pieces back together. I was also reminded of just how much responsibility I've been given - with the amazing blessings I've been given, and also with being used in sung worship. That I sometimes need to step up to that, and not to just keep hiding.

As I predicted, the journeys to SH were also 'interesting'. The one back was slightly less eventful as the one up there (where we arrived about 4 hours late), but both were fun. Ask me if you would like to hear details, otherwise I will leave it as this post is going to be very long already I fear !

Then I had an absoloutely AWESOME time on sunday night at the NR gig at the Fleece in Bristol. I loved walking down with such a big group of friends for once, and just seeing everyone at the gig. (I have been given some REALLY AMAZING friends !) Much laughing was done by all, and see Ken's space for some photos of what we got up to ! I also enjoyed spending time with another of my housemates on sunday afternoon - was good to chat generally, to tell her about SH, and to try to teach her to strum on guitar !

I am now very, very tired still - after a week of not much more than 5 hours sleep a night - and have much work to do, which I'm not too keen on starting really. But it'll be ok. I just want to make sure I hold onto all the things that I learnt last week, and remember all the fun I had on sunday, so that I can work really hard in the time I have avaliable now. I shall be around the blogosphere again for a while, though I may try and not be around too much, for work's sake. I hope everyone is doing ok. Do remember to come back at me if you want about anything I've said. I shall hopefully post again soon, but in case I don't manage to before the weekend: I hope everyone has really good Easters ! xx