Next week

I have some news everyone: I’m afraid to say that I will be off the internet (e-mail checking and the blogosphere) for just over a week from tomorrow. “NOOO”, I hear you cry, (well, maybe not, but it adds dramatic effect). But do not fear, cause I will be back before long. Also, there is a rather exciting reason for my lack of internet access – I am going up to Skegness for a week. Now, lovely as I know Skegness is, I do actually have a reason for this. I’m going to Spring Harvest, which is a kind of Christian conference thing. The week I’m going for is called Word Alive, which as well as the normal Spring Harvest programme has a special student programme, which is organised mainly by UCCF. There will be Bible overviews in the morning, and Bible readings (not sure what the topics are yet this year), a range of seminars to choose from in the afternoon, student celebrations in the evenings, as well as a variety of gigs* and full use of the Butlins facilities (including amazing swimming pool). I’ve been for the past 2 years, also with people from Bristol CU. There are always quite a few of us who go, and each time has been good, for different reasons. I’m really excited about: building new friendships, deepening existing ones, and most importantly about spending time just listening to and learning from God, without all the usual busyness of life. In the past it is true that I have had various issues with UCCF and Word Alive, but I think that this year certain things are a lot clearer in my head than they were say in my first or second years at uni, and I’m just looking forward to quality time away, and seeing God doing something new, as well as continuing things He's been starting in me. I shall attempt to write a post when I get back, detailing how it all went (including what I’m sure will be memorable car trips there and back) and attempting to share the main things I learnt.

I’m also looking forward to being back in Bristol for a couple of days after Spring Harvest finishes, as I’m going to the New Root gig at the Fleece on sun 9th April. I may well also try and make it to Woodies in the morning (depending on how sleep deprived I feel after the week in Skegness) and so I may see some of you then.

But for now, I shall sign off (sniff !) And don’t write too many blog posts for me to catch up on when I get back, lol ! I must now go and pack...



* In past years I have seen YFriday, Steve, Nicki Rogers (who signed one of her albums for me), Bethany Dillon, Shawn McDonald...I wonder who I'll decide to go and see this year !

Check this out

I found these links as I was ‘rooting’ around the internet (very long story) and I thought that others might find them amusing too:

http://www.wibsite.com/wiblog/dull/
http://www.weblogcartoons.com/
http://www.cartoonchurch.com/

All 3 sites are by the same person, and the cartoons on the latter are really amusing – fairly close to the bone sometimes though. The former…well…someone other than Rob clearly also has too much time on his hands :-D

In other news: I finished my literary project today - Yaaay !!! (Well, I say finished, but I still have to send the ‘draft’ to my supervisor for comments, but…) Feels very, very good. Unfortunately doesn’t mean I can stop working though – have much other work to do.

'Worship following'

Last night I led some worship, on piano, at the small group which my mum and dad lead at our house every monday (I think it was the first time I've led on piano ?) It was an amazing evening generally and I felt so blessed to be able to share time with all these people - there's so much I can learn from all of them...Anyway, the worship...I call it worship 'following' not leading, cause that is what it did feel like. Again, every time I lead worship or play an instrument I go with the attitude that I know what I'm doing...in fact, every time I get surprised and humbled again and yesterday was a real exercise in laying down my pride again: firstly in song choice: that I needed to choose songs which would be appropriate and what would be on peoples' heart to sing to God, rather than the ones which I'd played that afternoon and come up with cool arrangments to (not that there's anything wrong with cool new arrangments, but it just wouldn't have been appropriate yesterday in that setting); then secondly in actual leading: I had to try to remain sensitive to where the time was going, and leave enough space at appropriate times (I always find that hard to try and judge), basically following what was happening, not leading as such. Although I find it a real challenge (mainly humbleness/pride/confidence isses), each time I play in worship in some form I feel so privilidged too to be able to be a part of this. And as I realised again last night, even if something is a little out of my 'comfort zone', as last night was, if being involved in the music side of worship (and even leading maybe) is somewhere God wants me to be, then who am I to try and hide from that ?! Aren't I the one who's been saying that I want to be the person God wants me to be ?!!

Anyway...one other thing...(not really related, but still on the music/worship topic): I was reading back through one of my journals last night, and found an entry I'd written on why I think I became involved in music playing in the first place: to cut a long story short, that music moves me so much sometimes, that I can't keep it in my system and have to find a way to let it out. My outlet, was to try to reproduce the music: so I'd learn to sing the song, then when I was a little older I'd also work out the chords, and would try to learn it on piano, later on guitar and now also on bass. When I listen to music I also often take it apart and try to think how I'd arrange each of the parts if I was playing it. This is why I'm not good at song writing and writing lyrics, and being creative in that sense, but within the context of a song, I am learning to be more creative with arrangments...I was wondering whether that was a common thing, as a reason for being musical I mean, or whether other people have different experiences ? i.e. why do people think that they love playing music (generally, not just in the context of worship here) ? But I would be especially interested though to hear from the other people who do have experience with playing in worship who read this blog (i.e. Ben, Rob, Matt...) Do comment cause I'd be interested to know ! (Plus it's probably a good thing to have to think about).

Adverts

I think that my family think I'm slightly odd (not that they didn't think that before, but anyway...) we were watching the Poirot on tele last night (I love Agatha Christie - not miss Marple, but I love Poirot stories)...it was on ITV, meaning that it had adverts and I was finding all the adverts really amusing ! Normally when I watch TV, I just want the breaks to go as quickly as possible so I can find out what happens next. But last night, I think I enjoyed the adverts as much as the actual programme ! I think it's what happens when you have hardly watched any TV all term. Maybe when we watch TV a lot, we just get acclimatised to it, i.e. get used to it and don't think anything of it...but when you haven't watched it for a while (like me) you start to realise how strange TV actually is sometimes, and in particular how FUNNY adverts are ! I think that's probably true of a lot of things, not just adverts, - that we get used to things and stop thinking about them, when they're around us all the time. I find myself either taking things for granted, or just becoming hardened to things...anyway, enough of strange rant and advertising how strange my mind is (but of course you all knew that already !?). On with the literary project...

Home again

I'm actually sitting writing this in my bedroom, as we now have wireless internet at home, and my dad just set stuff up to enable it on my computer too - how cool is that !!! I'm home again now (in case you hadn't worked that out) - took a while to get back, as the traffic was mental, but we did in the end. I'm also now all unpacked. I just need to try and sleep now - to catch up but I also need to try to get this illness better: I don't have time to be ill !! :-( Project writing starts again tomorrow with avengence...better go for now before my computer battery runs out !

Presentation over !!

I've been a little stressed at times over the last few days - I had a presentation for today, which I didn't start writing til monday afternoon, since I only got my practical project draft back from my supervisor on monday morning (and I was working on my literary project last week). But it went ok ! And in fact, the actual writing of things went far more smoothly than I could have expected. There were a few of us giving 10-15 minute talks on our practical projects and all of the supervisors and second markers there (so quite a few people to get into the small area where we had the talks). It was good to hear a bit about other peoples' projects, though even at this level they are so specialised that it was hard to follow some of the talks sometimes. I was so nervous though beforehand - I couldn't stop my whole body from shaking. I didn't want to let down my supervisors, and also wanted to make a good impression on my second marker (who will be giving me my viva next term) and also not to let my tutor down either (who I only discovered would be attending this afternoon !) But as I said, it was ok, and my supervisors were very happy with it - they're both so lovely and really supportive in everything.

Now however, as always when you make a big effort and then it's over, my tiredness is catching up on me. I haven't been particularly well the last few days (as seems to be common with many people at this time of term) which that hasn't been helping my concentration due to disturbed sleeping, and is also catching up on me. I also do have much more work still to be done, but I'm going to take a bit of time off now til friday (woo!) due to various things: I'm looking very much forward to LiveSoc tonight (last one with the current committee) and to going home tomorrow - ummm, just one minor problem with that...I have to pack first ! Oh well, tomorrow morning it shall have to be...

So then...all friends in Bristol, I shall see you sometime after Easter, (if not on the 9th April or at Spring Harvest) and those at home, hopefully I'll get to see some of you in the next few weeks :-)

p.s. everyone should comment on this blog here don't ask why, just do it !

Long time no post !

It has indeed been ages since my last post - feels a whole world away. I apologise profusely to anyone who reads this blog of mine (especially to those who have a thesis in this week, lol.) There are many reasons for the lack of posting:
1) Blogger WAS being annoying, for some reason, and when I did try to post would not let me, and occassionally would not let me even access the blog page (or anyone elses). Not being forward thinking enough I did not think of trying another computer.
2) Even when it did let me, I had so much I wanted to blog about, that none of it came out (if that makes any sense ?)
3) I've been/am going through a rather confusing and difficult time at the moment (mainly course work or next-year related, although not exclusively those two things), and so my thoughts are very jumbled and some things I need to try to figure out on my own before I can share them with anyone.

I also cannot promise frequent posts again as, like Rich, I have (final) exams coming very shortly, as in merely a few weeks away (I finish before most of my housemates have even started !) I also have 2 projects which need finishing. However, I shall be 'around' the blogosphere - may post here and there, when I have something worth saying or merely need a break from work, and shall comment here and on other people's blogs, if I feel I have anything to say.

Thank you all so much for commenting on the last few posts - I was very impressed with the number. It was indeed a record for this blog, but I disagree with Jammin - I don't know if you CAN have too many comments, lol. I seem to get most comments when I haven't been posting for a while, or when I mention my guitar ! Seriously though, I very much appreciated all the guitar tips, and just love having people say hi and chat. So keep it up ! (Maybe I need a deep question or just a random one to get people chatting more ? Any suggestions ?!) :-)

New guitar strings !!!!!

Today has been fun - not enough work involved, but fun. Had a house trip this afternoon to play badminton at the sports centre, then I cooked some 'turkey and cranberry' burgers for supper (took a very long time to make, but was a first for me - I'd never made burgers before).

But...most exciting of all - I put new strings on my acoustic !!!!!! I've only had the guitar just over two years now, and so this is the first time I've changed the strings by myself, (as I had a bit of help last time). It was mainly fine, apart from the fact that the top E string was being really annoying, so I had to take it off and try to restring it about 5 times before I got it to stay put. It's been just over a year since my last change of strings, which is terrible. I bought a new set at Christmas, but hadn't gotten round to putting them on. But it was getting to the point when even inexperienced me could tell that they sounded horrible, and so since (as far as I know) I'm not meant to be playing my guitar this week, I thought I'd change the strings. Is very exciting. I know they'll keep going way out of tune for a while, and will sound a little metallicy, but I think it's worth it.

Need an early night now, after a bit of TV. (Why is it always the case that the ONE day you can lie in (i.e. today), is the one day when your body decides to wake you up and make you really alert at a time before you even have to get up during the week for lectures ?) Looking forward to going to Sea Mills tomorrow though. And I am getting a lift, so shouldn't really complain about having to get up early :-)

Noooo...

the sun's come out and the snow's already starting to melt here in Bristol. Oh well, if we can't keep the snow I suppose having sun will do instead...

woooh !!! Even more snow.

And this time it's fairly heavy (or is currently), and the sky looks really grey - more snow still to come. Hope it sticks ! (I can already see that this is going to prove a great distraction to work today...)

mmmmm....pancakes...

We tried making savoury ones (filled with all sorts of things, as pictured here - tho my pancake flipping is very poor, as is also evidenced) followed by sweet ones for after. Good fun.

Now I just have to decide what (if anything) I'm gonna give up/take up for lent. In the past I have done things such as giving up watching neighbours and using the time to instead read through a Christian book/spend some time worshipping using my guitar, or reading 1 chapter of a purpose driven life each day (as there happened to be 40)...But I haven't really made much time to think about it properly this year, and I don't just want to do something for the sake of it - I want to know the purpose is for me giving/taking something up.

Magnificat

Tonight was Magnificat (which I mentionned in my earlier post) - a womens' only event at Woodies. It was 'interesting'. There was an amazing looking chocolate fountain with strawberries/grapes/marshmallows to dip in (I only had one strawberry, but still managed to make a mess). The keyboard playing was interesting - the band was really cool, but the songs we had were ones which involve a lot of chord changes, and so I found it hard to try to play well, while still watching Kate and Mel to see where the songs were going and think about the lyrics as well ! Also, I find it very difficult when I'm sposed to take more of a lead in things - i.e. me starting many of the songs etc. as I generally find that hard. But as long as it sounded ok, and helped people to worship, that's what matters.

We also got to play with playdoh, the results of which can be seen in the picture below (bear in mind that this is the first time I have ever used playdoh, and that my sculpting skills have a lot to be desired).



Basically we had to make something which represented us - like a baby/child or something else which represents us. I went for the child thing, since I couldn't think what else to make. Then we had some music play, and took some time to think about the fact that God had made us, created us, that we were unique, we are "fearfully and wonderfully made", that we were all planned - none of us occurred by accident. I found the rest of the evening quite hard, since 1) I was concentrating on playing some of the time and 2) the whole topic of identity is a hard one for me, so I was very tempted to just kinda switch off and let it all just brush over me as I found it too hard to accept. But this playdoh thing, despite not being a great fan normally, I really liked. Somehow when you actually hold something, it sometimes makes more of an impression than just thinking about something. And while I have a long way to go in terms of learning to understand and accept who I am, I was reminded of the words to this song (which we actually sang tonight):

"Into Your hands, I commit again

with all I am for You Lord

And You hold my world, in the palm of Your hands

and I am Yours forever

Jesus I believe in You

Jesus I belong to You

You're the reason that I live,

the reason that I sing,

with all I am

I walk with You wherever You go

through tears and joy

I'll trust in You

And I will live, in all of Your ways

Your promises forever."

-->Is what gave me the inspiration for the photo. Was just amazing, holding that model of me in my hands, and thinking that actually, God is doing that with me - holding me in His hands. Amazing.

1) Home and 2) worship.

It's been a while (again). Too many thoughts. I'll just clarify from my last post first - in case anyone was wondering what the cbox is: if you scroll a little way down the page, past the links but before the archive, you will find a 'comment box' (thanks Roberto). You can write comments in it - please do !

That done, I shall now ramble a bit about the topics in the title - being at home, and what worship is.

I've been at home for the weekend and just came back late yesterday evening. It meant I haven't gotten much work done between thursday evening and sunday evening, but it was worth it. I loved being at home SO MUCH !!! It almost feels like when I'm away from home I have both my legs and an arm chopped off; which means (understandably) I 'feel a little lopsided' but don't until I get back home realise the reason for this. Now that may be a slightly extreme analogy, but it is how I feel. We've always done everything together as a family - gone on holiday together, sung in the church carol service as a family, eat meals as a family...etc etc and so I suppose that obviously that has knock-on effects for both me and them when I'm away from home. Despite the feelings of frustration I have occassionally had about 'not being able to do some of the things other people do', when I actually think, well what would I rather do than spend time with my family, I don't have an answer. (I suppose that's true about a lot of things: that we take things for granted, until we suddenly don't have them any more, when we realise quite what we have. In the same way, being away from home at uni has made me appreciate more just how much my family mean to me.) I'm so grateful for such an amazing family. I love them all to bits (well, not literally, but you get the idea). I just loved being with mum, dad and my brother this weekend. My brother and I also had some good guitar playing sessions, and it was reassuring/unburdening to chat with mum (and dad too to a slightly lesser extent) about next year stuff - I don't feel any more sorted, or any closer to a decision, but it felt good to be able to talk through things and get a bit more perspective. That's another thing my family do - help keep my feet grounded when I'm just a bit overwhelmed.

It felt a little strange coming back last night - when I'm at home, it always seems like that's the reality, and actually uni is just a dream or something, hence feeling strange coming back. But I just now need to hold on to some of that perspective that I gained from being at home, and try to get on with doing work (as I have SO, SO, SO much to do !)

Another thing which was challenging, yet encouraging at the same time, was the topic of the sermon at church at home on sunday. We were looking at the whole area of living a life of worship (Romans 12:1 stuff) - see there was a link between the two topics ! Overview of the talk, in 3 points (as all good sermons seem to be):
1) Our INSPIRATION for worship - God's character
"...in view of God's mercies..."
2) Our MOTIVATION for worship - living to please God
"...pleasing to God..."
3) DEDICATION - our lives
"offer your bodies as living sacrifices"

Worship isn't just about singing some songs on a sunday at church. "our worship only glorifies God in as much as it reflects lives that honour Him the rest of the week". A cool analogy was that coming to church is a bit like the 'half-time pep talk'. The real game goes on during the week. That you wouldn't hear David Beckham saying "Well, we lost the game. We played really rubbishly. But the half-time talk was AMAZING. We were really going for it, and all ready..."

Being involved in worship bands (by God's initiative, not mine) I have read numerous books on the subject of worship, been to conferences, and heard these things a dozen times. The challenge is, not to let them be things I hear again and think "oh, I know all this already" - when in fact, do I ? For a couple of years now I have felt that God really wants me to get to grips with this stuff, as if He's gonna use me in worship, He wants me to understand what it is, and to be able to be a lead worshipper, not just a worship leader. And last year I was really fired up about these things (Jammin may remember a certain conversation we had at the beginning of the summer term last year), but have somehow become consumed by other things. It was good to have a reminder that not only is praying, Bible reading, and going to church (all good things mind) worshipping God, but so is every little part of my life, if I involve God in it and do it for Him. If I really know this, it'll mean that I'll be so much harder working at everything I do - from cleaning our house bathrooms to doing my uni work - cause I know I'm doing it for Him ! The lyrics from this song we sang yesterday keep going round in my head, so i'll share them with you and hope that it encourages you too - it's a fairly new song (I think) by Tim Hughes, which is on just that topic.

"God in my living

There in my breathing

God in my waking

God in my sleeping

God in my resting

There in my working

God in my thinking

God in my speaking

Be my everything

Be my everything

Be my everything

Be my everything

God in my hoping

There in my dreaming

God in my watching

God in my waiting

God in my laughing

There in my weeping

God in my hurting

God in my healing

Be my everything

Be my everything

Be my everything

Be my everything

Christ in me, Christ in me,

Christ in me the hope of glory, you are everything.

Christ in me, Christ in me,
Christ in me the hope of glory, you are everything."

-Tim Hughes

Having said all of that, I had now better go and clean the bathrooms and then do some more work before I head out in a couple of hours (I'm playing keyboard at Magnificat - the termly all- womens' event at Woodies - and so need to be there early.) I apologise for the length of this post, and the way it's so jumbled - well done if you've made it this far. I shall try not to leave it so long again...though I probably said that last time, lol !

CBox...

I now also have a CBox (sorry for being a 'copycat' Roberto !) I think they're cool, and maybe it'll encourage people to write on my blog a bit more, as it's easier to write something in that than going through having to write a comment (though of course that's no excuse not to comment too !) Also, sometimes when I'm writing a comment on a blog, I feel like it has to be vaguely related to their blog post. With a CBox comment, we can chat about anything people want to chat about. So get typing !

I shall see how it goes, and whether I like it or not. Depending on that, it may stay or it may only be temporary - so post everyone !!! Otherwise, it'll just look like I talk to myself ! Lol. Also, any suggestions welcome, as always e.g. let me know if you think it should be higher up in the sidebar, or lower down, or...etc

p.s. And you'll be glad to know that although I was cooking again this lunchtime, I didn't start a fire of any kind this time !!

Be the centre !!

"Jesus, be the centre;
Be my source, be my light, Jesus.

Jesus, be the centre;
Be my hope, be my song, Jesus.

Be the fire, in my heart.
Be the wind, in these sails.
Be the reason, that I live,
Jesus, Jesus.

Jesus, be my vision;
Be my path, be my guide, Jesus !!!!!"
-Vineyard Music

Realised this morning that that's what I need - I need Jesus to come and be the centre of my WHOLE LIFE again, rather than what I'd been doing - trying to do everything by myself, and then 'tagging Him on at the end of things'.

Superman

Wow. 3 posts in 1 day - is that a record ?

Watched more Superman tonight while eating supper. I realised, that I think one of the reasons why I liked/like "The New Adventures of Superman" so much, is because I identify with the characters so much. In a weird kind of way (ignoring the male/female thing - please no rude comments) I feel like I'm a mixture (character-wise) of Clark and Lois as they're portrayed in the series, and so I like seeing how they deal with situations, and how they change through the series.

Lois - at one point during the very first episode she says to Clark that sometimes she does things, like 'jumping in the pool without checking the water level', but that that's the only way she knows how. Like her, I often feel that that's how I try to deal with things (kinda following on from the previous post). I plunge straight in. I also, like her, make myself so busy. I can seem fine, like I'm sorted and really confident, on the outside, but on the inside, I'm really insecure and when it comes down to it, I'm learning that I have trouble trusting people, like Lois does, although for me I'm not sure where this has come from - for Lois, it is because she has been hurt in the past by people she trusted, but that's not true for me, that I know of. This 'trusting people' thing especially applies when it comes to trusting God (tho praps with other people too a bit), perhaps because with God the things are quite big which He asks me to trust Him with (especially an issue at the current moment, tho I won't go into details). Even though I've seen what He has done in the past - for me, and for other people, I still seem to struggle with this.

Clark - like him, I sometimes feel like I don't belong/don't fit in. Now I'd be ok with this if it was just that being a Christian meant that I was different from other people around me, because of what I was living for and Jesus being in me. But I often feel that this isn't the case, and my 'not fitting in' comes from something else. I've always felt like this. (Kinda silly really, when, as I've come to notice, I specifically but sub-consciously go out of my way to do things differently from other people, and then feel hurt when I'm not the same as them - I know, my mind is weird huh !) Also, the whole being naive thing. I do sometimes feel like Clark does in terms of being naive to what's actually going on in the world. And the, ' wanting to do good, but struggling with issues which arise'.

Other things too, and I'm not very good at explaining, but I've tried and I hope you understand what I've been trying to say. At this point of course, I will just get told that I overanalyse TV/films far too much. I do actually do it all the time. And I think that's possibly what defines a 'good film' for me - one which provokes me to think in this way. But I can't help it. It's who I am. At least I now have a blog I can share all these 'weird and wonderful' thoughts of mine on :-)

Ooops - the paradox of blogging

Ooops. Just realised I'd said that wouldn't be a mega post, but it then was. Funny how you can think you have nothing to say, but then you still manage to go on for ages in a post anyway - or maybe that's just me ?

You may have noticed, that often my way of dealing with things is to brush over them, and make light of things on the outside (not always, but often). Maybe that's why all my most recent posts have felt really 'bouncy', and not serious.

Anyway...really must go and work now ! :-)

It's been a while...

This won't be a mega long post (I hope), but I just wanted to give a 'quick' update seeing as it's now been almost a week since my last post !! (*Shock horror* !)

This has been an interesting week; full of lots of ups and downs - very high ups, and very low downs. A couple of highlights of the highs - dinner at a friend's house on wednesday. Hadn't seen them for a very long time. About 10 of us eating together in the end. Much fun was had by all and we kept ourselves amused for quite a long time with various riddles (most of which I hadn't heard before, but gave up on too easily - as I'm prone to doing.) Thursday - went out to Zero Degrees for another friend's birthday (why do so many people have birthdays on the 17th or 18th Feb - I now know 7 people who have birthdays over these 2 days !!!) Was very fun too - much photo taking on digital cameras involved. Also, getting very excited about having a couple of friends over for dinner next week !!!!
Lows - tuesday was about the lowest. Possibly partly the 'trying to get back into doing work' after having had a weekend of not working and a hectic week the week before, and hence being overwhelmed again. I felt a bit better after a long chat with a good friend when I got back from pastorate, (MSN is very helpful sometimes). I'm also now looking much forward to going to church tomorrow - I think I need a bit of a prod, cause that's another thing which has 'gone down the shute' (shoot ?) this week - quiet times and general Bible reading/praying...Think that's probably also one of the main reasons why I've felt so terrible at times this week. When I try to do everything by myself, I just get things so out of perspective. And it's such a downward spiral isn't it !!

Last night was fun - supper, then practised juggling with a housemate for a while (very good exercise surprisingly) and then stayed up rather too late watching part of the new DVD I bought yesterday: You're entitled to think I'm very sad if you like, but that won't change the fact that I'm really excited ! I bought the whole of season 1 of "The New Adventures of Superman" on DVD !!!!! It's 6 DVDs really, and 21 episodes ! I've seen them all before of course, but I watched the first 2 episodes last night, and I hadn't seen them for aaaaaaages !! Awesome.

Anyway...that probably wasn't very interesting for anyone and I probably shouldn't have admitted that last bit on the web for everyone to see, but nevermind. It's done now :-) I should get back to a bit more work - I'm trying to make the most of the weekend now, after not being able to go home as was originally planned. I have been working - honest - but it just seems to take sooo long !!! Apoptosis is so complicated and MS word is so frustrating !

Remind me never to cook again !!!!

Oh dear ! I knew there was a reason that I shouldn't be let loose in a kitchen ever ! Tonight was my cooking night again, but despite the fact that what I was cooking SHOULD have been easy, not only did I manage to get very stressed about it, I also managed to 1) set the fire alarm off (again - I seem to have become an expert in this) and 2) set fire to the oven gloves - now I didn't notice this fact, until I had put the oven gloves back on the table and then observed that there were now flames rising. I then proceeded to do what you should NOT do when you set fire to something, which was to panic. Eventually I managed to get enough of my brain operating to realise that I should try and put it out before it set anything else alight, and so proceeded to smother the flames with a towel. We now have black marks on our table, floor and the oven gloves. However, after this episode I did manage to eventually produce an eatable meal.

Now quite tired...but a good week.

The week of events last week I think went well, from what I could tell. The talks were packed out (and no, it wasn't just with CU people). I certainly found the talks helpful, and I'm glad that some of my friends did come along to various things and were challenged by what they heard.

Personally, I was particularly challenged by the talk on thursday night: "What's the point of life". Whether, is the point of my life perishable ? What is it that I'm currently living for ? I find it so easy to think that's sorted, and that of course I'm living for the right thing, but when it comes down to it, and I look at where it is I spend my time and energy, am I really ? In John's gospel in the Bible, Jesus says:

"You shouldn't be so concerned about PERISHABLE things like food. SPEND YOUR ENERGY SEEKING the ETERNAL LIFE that I, the Son of Man can give you. For God the father has sent me for that very purpose". John 6:27 (capitals mine)

That when it comes down to it, we all try to look in the wrong places to be satisfied - whether that's to music, making ourselves busy, our work, being on some committee, alcohol, relationships... and although relationships with other people are good, only one relationship - one which we were created for with our creator - will ultimately satisfy us and will not perish. Hmmmm.

Anyway, if anyone does want to listen to the talks, they should be being put up on the web on the Bristol CU website fairly soon (hopefully in the next couple of days if not today). Do have a listen.

I've also had a good weekend with another friend from home staying with me. I'm not very good at just being, and chilling/chatting etc. I seem to always feel like I should be doing something. But I think it probably is good for me to chill a bit sometimes. Reminds me of what is really important. We did have fun - we went to a great New Root gig together on saturday, among various other things, and it was good to spend lots of time together. I just now need to try to do some proper work this week, after not having done as much as I would have liked to last week...