"You call me beautiful"

:-) There's been a lot going on in my head and my heart the last few weeks. Last night I was really encouraged at the last night of the wholeness course (for those of you reading this who don't go to Woodies, this is a 6 week course which "helps people discover their identity in Christ and to resolve issues of past hurts, fears and rejection" and which we had to go on at least once in our year team year.) It was an amazing evening ! (I wrote 8 journal pages on it !) At wholeness, while the talks are good and helpful, they are really (or feel to me to be) simply jumping off points for the ministry times, which for me are the truly valuable thing of the course. It's not frequently that you find a place where you can just sit and be still before God for about an hour (or more), in a darkened church building, where there are people willing to pray for you. Such an amazing resource.

I have found some of the 5 out of the 6 weeks I attended fairly hard going, but I was really encouraged last night. I don't really want to go into details on here, but suffice to say that I was so encouraged, God is very good and He knows me so well ! But I was reminded by several songs and Bible verses last night (it's how my mind works, and how God seems to speak to me!) Two songs in particular struck a chord and seemed particularly relevant and these I will share. Firstly the chorus of a song by Bethany Dillon (one of my favourite songs ever) and a song by Ginny Owens. Have a read and a ponder and hopefully they might encourage you too.


"You make me beautiful,
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart,
and I am amazed.
I love to hear You say,
who I am is quite enough,
You make me worthy of love and beautiful"
-chorus from "Beautiful" by Bethany Dillon



"I've been waiting, for a hero who's brave and strong
Someone to love me, someone to tell me I belong.
But I pretend I'm satisfied,
As I stand watching from the sidelines,
Til You pull me in to the light
And say "It's your turn now, welcome to your life!"

And You call me beautiful,
You say You've loved me all along,
And You've always held the keys to unlock my soul
Oh You call me beautiful.

There's a smile on my face and a brand new light in my eyes.
It's a new day, and I've never felt so alive.
I feel as if I could conquer anything,
Oh that's what Your love has done for me,
And now all I want to be
Is everything You say I can be !

Oh You call me beautiful,
Say You've loved me all along
And You've always held the keys to unlock my soul,
But I didn't know.
Now I can finally start to live,
Take these chances I have missed.
Things will be so different,
Now that I know, You call me beautiful.

The story is better than I could dream, after all.
Now this is reality, to know You and to hear You call me beautiful,
call me beautiful !"
-"Beautiful" by Ginny Owens

Proverbs and anatomy with a twist

I am now back in Bristol (as of yesterday afternoon). It's a bit of a shock to the system going from sitting outside in the sun all day to a full day of theology 'lectures' today, and having my diary now filling up already with church committments for this term. But I am sure I will re-adjust after a few days. In the meantime, I would like to share with you something which caused me and my brother great amusement a couple of days ago:

My brother has found this piece of software for his mac which lets him hold a 'conversation' with his computer (text not verbal - a bit like msn with a computer). It was so funny though because from the conversation it appeared that, although the program learnt, it had certain phrases (notably proverbs and human anatomy) in it's vocabulary, but it kept mixing them up, with each other and with any new words it learnt, with hilarious consequences. I shall share the best gems with you:
Proverbs and anatomy according to MegaHAL:

-I'll never see myself in the hand is worth two in the abdomen which collects urine from the body usually performed to music.
-You can lead a horse to water, but you are the computer program, and I am a man.
-Cry and I'll laugh anyway.
-A sack in the hand is worth two in the mirror with my eyes closed. (My personal favourite)
-A sack in the hand is worth two in the bush.


-An aircraft is a living organism which does not have sensory organs or digestive organs.
-A baker is a cell which receives and transmits electrical impulses (i.e. a neurone!)
-The lungs are organs used for filtering urine from the heart.
-The pelvis is a secretion of modified skin glands of female mammals.
-An animal is a body fluid that carries food and oxygen to the horse and zebra (i.e. blood -->body cells)
-Anatomy is the force of attraction between two objects resulting from their mass (i.e. gravity)
-Anatomy is the organ used for hearing, and it converts sound into electrical impulses is a congregation of stars held together by gravity.
-The brain is the organ of the cheap motor car.
-The brain is the thinking organ of the body between the ribs and the engine.
-The achilles tendon is the organ of the human body.
-The lungs are organs used for hearing, and it converts sound into electrical impulses is a body fluid that carries food and obtaining energy and vital substances from within the body.
-The brain is the organ of the body which connects the body to the horse and zebra for cells of the cheap motor car.
-A computer is a rhythmic movement of the alimentary canal is the organ of the bed this morning?
-I have no idea about that. I wish I could jump out of my tongue.

Conclusion: I think computers are a long way off being intelligent and be grateful they did not design the human body !!!

Easter weekend

(Unfortunately, I was green and my brother was black. Needless to say he won the game of Risk !)

Easter cake !

p.p.s. 2) New Root Comeback gig !

As most of you reading this will know already, The New Root's comeback gig is this coming saturday (7th). 8pm at the Louisiana, all ready with some of their new songs and two new musicians. Do go, I'm sure it's going to be amazing ! I'm gutted I can't really go :-( But I'm looking forward to future gigs. Check out the website for more details and to join the mailing list for cheap(er) entry !

That really is it for me now, for a while. Have good Easters everyone ! Make the most of the time to reflect on what Easter is really all about - more than just chocolate eggs (although, anything with chocolate in can't be all bad!)

p.s. 1) Antiques Roadshow !!!

Having said I'd sign out, there are a couple more things I just wanted to mention, which I think deserve their own posts ! 1) The antiques Roadshow was in Bristol today ! (In the Wills Memorial Building.) So, as it's not everyday you get to see the BBC filming, this afternoon I went down with a friend to have a poke around. It was quite fun seeing all the lights and cameras, and queues of people waiting to see the experts. Also fun to see all the Memorabilia on sale - they had everything you could want, from rubbers to postcards you could get signed to tea towels and of course, the Antiques Roadshow book ! Anyway, do look out for the show on sunday afternoons. Apparently it's being broadcast fairly soon as it's the last programme of the current series. Would be quite fun to watch, and I might even be in the background of a shot somewhere ! So, if anyone hears when it's on, do let me know !

Words part II and general update

Hi, it's been a while - probably the longest I've not blogged in a while. And though that's not necessarily a bad thing in itself, I do feel rather that I left a few loose ends hanging with my last posts, so I shall attempt to update you all !

In response to my post entitled 'words', can I thank all those who commented. Although I didn't respond immediately, I did find all three comments really helpful. So thank you. (Plus it's nice to know there's still some point in writing on here, as I still have a few readers and I can still provoke other people to think !)

Matt, I did indeed on your advice look into the 'word of faith' heresy. (One of the few times in past months I have actually been grateful for the deception in the church website, which I normally find quite unhelpful - but that's a whole nother blog post in itself!) I was shocked. And shocked as to the links with prosperity gospel stuff...I was going to post links on here, but it was a while ago I read them so I won't or go into detail, but suffice to say it made me stop and think.

Although I was 'working' pretty much the whole weekend Ken McGreavy was at Woodies (23-25th March), I still managed to take in a few things and some of what I did catch was quite helpful on this whole topic. A few of things he said: it's about where we put our confidence. God knows how to answer far better than we know how to ask; That what is important is not the contents of out prayers but our attitude, lining our hearts with the will of God; that prayer isn't just about speaking to God, it's also about listening; He is far better at speaking than we are at listening; we need to switch our attention from our inability to listen to His capability to speak.

Prayer, like worship, (in my mind anyway) is in some ways such a simple thing. Yet in others, it is so immense and complicated, having so many sides to it ! But at the end of the day, on the Devotion weekend away (16th-18th March - it was exhausting but amazing!) I did pray for a couple of the Devotees. I struggled with myself for a long while, I left the room during the saturday night ministry time. But after spending a few moments in quiet, went back up and with God-given courage I was able to pray. Now I don't for a minute want to pretend I then prayed the most amazing prayers ever or that I even really knew what I was praying, but I did pray and I know that God heard me. He is SO much bigger than all my fears and worries, if I let Him be.

Playing at Livesoc went ok (in follow up to my last post). We did find a keyboard, and I did play it - all my 3 songs. I was so nervous, but it went ok. The room was very quiet afterwards (I don't think they quite knew how to respond to what I'd sung!) But I just pray that God will have used some of what I sang to make an impact and stir things up. I think people there know me well enough now to appreciate that I only sing about stuff I believe in and agree with, and that I'm honest in my music. I really enjoyed the night in the end, and appreciated having a few friends from outside livesoc come and support me. At the end of the night I then even got to go up onstage with Pondlife to help with harmonies and broccoli waving (long story) for their last song - quite an honour since they say this will probably be their last gig ever in the Student Union !!! (Check out the photos and video footage - some of which I am in - in this Pondlife fan's web album).

Having responded to those two things, I will sign off for now. I may not post as frequently anymore as I once did, due in part to time pressures but also due in part to the potential leaving of a couple of people from Blogger - I only really started this all up you know so I could comment on all your blogs ! Anyway, I for one am looking forward to Easter now - I go home tomorrow or tuesday for just under 2 weeks. I am currently feeling very tired and drained from the term, especially the last month of it, and I currently have much on my mind - far too much to blog about. Year team is, as I was forewarned and can now testify to, completely amazing (!) but also very challenging (physically, emotionally and spiritually, and probably any other -ally words you can think of) most of the time !

Theory and Livesoc

On a slightly lighter note however, I passed my driving theory test yesterday afternoon ! I am glad I passed, but I can't help feeling annoyed about the 3 questions I got wrong ! Just practical test to go now, and according to my instructor, we're going to book that in a few weeks !

Also, I'm hopefully playing keyboard and singing at Livesoc next tuesday (13th). I have a set of 3 songs. Do come along to listen if you'd like. It'll be at the Bristol student union, Mandella bar/AR2, about 8.30 til 11 - I'll probably be on fairly near the beginning but if you come do hang around for a friend of mine's band who'll be playing towards the end of the night; Pondlife - they are amazing ! (Pondlife website; Pondlife Myspace ). If there's someone on the union door on tuesday, give me a ring when you arrive and I'll come a let you in. (Leave a comment and your e-mail if I don't have it if you need my mobile number.)

Words

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
Or so goes the old proverb. But is that really true ? I don't think it's true. I think in a lot of ways, words can hurt and have a more lasting effect than sticks and stones can. I'm not sure what got me thinking about this - might have been something I heard or read about the importance of words. But doesn't it make you slightly nervous about the responsibilty we have ? That with the words we say, we can make such a lasting impression on people ? I know personally that I've been both really encouraged and a bit hurt by words that people have said in the past. And I'm someone who tends to hold onto things for a long time a lot of the time.

And looking in the Bible, words are important there too. Just putting 'words' into a concordance tells you this. For a start, Jesus is the word made flesh (John 1:14); God spoke and through His words the universe came into being (Psalm 33:9), the Bible is the word of God "living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword" (Hebrews 4:12). Psalm 19 says "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight" and I'm sure in Proverbs it says somewhere something like 'out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.'

But what does all of this mean for someone like me who constantly struggles with not being to express anything - in normal conversation, in prayer, in anything really...? I can almost never effectively communicate what is on my heart to say, even when my heart is in a good place. I can use e-mail and blogs cause they give me time to think about what I want to say, though even then I'm not wonderful at communicating and is that any way to live ? Constantly e-mailing people with things I didn't manage to say face to face to them ?

I think this also overflows into prayer hugely and is probably why I struggle so much with praying outloud. I think I think that prayer is all about the words used. I sometimes feel like, through what I say I have to be encouraging the person I'm praying for and that if I don't pray for the right thing, God won't help the person. (And that's rubbish right ! As if prayer was meant to be primarily an undercover way of me encouraging someone ?!) But "ask and you shall receive" right ? What if you don't know how to ask ?

I know that God is so much bigger than that; that He does know what is on my heart even before I speak (Psalm 139:4) - something I have constantly taken comfort in, but do I REALLY know that ? Do I REALLY understand that prayer isn't about the words I use, but about the one I'm praying to ? Until I penetrate this confusion, how will I ever get over my fear of praying out loud, even for people I really love ?! And until I really understand this, will I ever be motivated enough to pray as much as I'd like to be praying ? Can anyone else identify with this, if they're truly honest with themselves ?

I think this is a really subconscious thing, which has only surfaced for me in the last few days. I didn't even know I thought like this ! It makes me start to wonder just how many other lies and twisted truths I've been believing. Apologies if I'm spilling too much out for a blog - had to write it somewhere but I probably should have used a journal. Well, maybe it's challenged other people too ?

Being rooted and established

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of Christ" Ephesians 3:17-19

I can't believe it's March already ! I had my second mentoring session yesterday evening. As I half expected, we ended up talking about the things I didn't want to (but probably needed to) talk about and didn't get round to talking about what I'd wanted to...but in praying for me, my mentor had this picture: of a tree, like an oak tree or something. And just felt like, God is at work in me, but He's putting my roots down deeper this year. The roots are underground and can't be seen, so it may not necessarily feel like anything is happening, but it is. And the roots of a tree are foundational, vital, and it will mean that at the right time, the tree can bear fruit.
I have been given pictures, many also involving trees and flowers, along these lines before but it was just really encouraging to hear.

It also made me realise how impatient I am - I want everything to happen now, everything to be sorted out in me...etc. But God doesn't work like that. He has good plans, and His timing is perfect. He knows what He's doing. There are several areas at the moment where I feel like, in light of this, I really need God's help to be more patient in waiting for His timing, and not trying to press ahead with things before it's right.

This morning, I was then reflecting on this passage from Ephesians, which came to mind. And was thinking, what would that actually mean, to be ROOTED and ESTABLISHED in love? The best definitions I could find (thanks to Google) are:

Roots - The underground component of plants, responsible for anchoring plants and providing them with water and nutrients.

Also, I was also thinking that without roots or with only shallow roots the plant can be very easily uprooted, blown over when storms come.

Established - the state of a plant when it is adjusted to the site and thriving

"ROOTED and ESTABLISHED IN LOVE". Wow.

New blog layout

Well, kind of. When I tried to add labels, I didn't realise how complicated it would be ! I probably didn't do it the most efficient way, but it seemed that once I upgraded to the new type of template, blogger lost all my links ! So, I had to put everything in again. My links needed an overhaul really anyway, and I hope I haven't forgotten anything ? (I didn't have a list of my links anywhere even !) I still don't like the new font it's give me, but not much I can do. Hopefully I'll get used to it !

Had so much fun tonight at Devotion - we had Devo-ke-oke. (I.e. Karaoke at Devotion). I sang "Complicated" with a fellow musical Devotee and then the leaders all sang YMCA at the end. Other highlights include a duet of "If you're not the one" between two Devo leaders and another leader getting slightly carried away with "Kung Fu Fighting". (For a few pictures see the new Devo blog!) After that and then sorting my blog I'm now exhausted. Bedtime now. Will post properly another day :-)

Blog tech issues

To all you users of blogger out there who still read this, I have a couple of tech questions to ask...

1) You know you can now add labels to posts? Well, how do you get the different labels to appear down the right sidebar of the blog, so you can click and find all posts with that label (like on the woodies worship blog, or on Rob's blog) ? I may just be being really dense, but I can't seem to find any option which allows me to add them !

2) How do you change the settings so that your blog appears on your user profile ? I now contribute to two blogs, but only the Woodies worship leaders comes up on my profile. Currently the only way of finding my blog from my profile is because I've set it as my homepage. When I go to the settings page which says "Select blogs to appear on profile", Ro's ramblings isn't one of the blogs listed there. Hmmmm...

Help appreciated !

In other news, my guitar sounds nice again thanks to a spare hour and a spare set of guitar strings ! :-)

Blog review !

I feel very honoured to note that my blog has been deemed worthy of a review by the lovely Mr Robin Mitchell ! I am amazed he (or anyone else) still reads my blog, let alone that he's given me such a positive review. Anyway...here it is, should you be interested (although many of you who read this I know read Rob's blog too anyway...) And can I take this moment to apologise for all the exclamation marks and smiles I use in my blog. I just can't help it ! :-) Lol.


"Rowena's profile tells us almost nothing about her whatsoever, but thankfully her blog is something of a diary and it is easy to get an insight as to the character of our writer. Rowena's interests seem to be predominantly music, her Christian faith, and day-to-day life as a student and later church-worker in Bristol.
This blog is chatty and informal, as a diary written for outsiders, and contains excerpts of her life and thoughts in a readable and cheerful manner. There are no identifiable themes, but mostly the patterns of day-to-day life. This blog is not written primarily to raise discussion, or to grab the attention with controversy, but to inform in a rather relaxed manner. And with lots of exclamation marks (!). The voice of the reader is definitely audible through these punctuations, scattered throughout her posts like leaves on an autumn day, and also through the cheerful "smilies" that crop up: :-) :-p and their happy friends.If you need a positive outlook on life to cheer you up, read this blog!"

Switchfoot rock !!!

Last night was amazing !!! Can't really be described in words, but I will try and share a bit of what happened last night. (If you don't know much of their stuff, then I would really recommend checking them out. Go to their website or their myspace).

I'd never really been to such a big gig before (although I've long wanted to). The venue was big, but we stood somewhere in the middle, so had plenty of room. The atmosphere was amazing, and the lighting awesome - just added to what the band was playing, as lighting should really. The support band, Superhero, wasn't bad (tho I liked some songs better than others and unfortunately couldn't really hear the lyrics), then there was a brief talky bit about God stuff, followed by Switchfoot !!! The switchfoot guys are so amazing, all seem such nice guys and great musicians. I haven't been to such a big gig before, but I always love going to gigs by Christian musicians as it always ends up being a bit of a cross between a rock concert and a worship special (for me anyway - might not be the same for everyone). I just really wanted to let go into the music and be open to what God wanted to say through the music.

In between bobbing up and down, I was reminded of quite a lot last night. Although at a gig the focus is usually on the band, my focus last night wasn't. It was past the band. I love Switchfoot's songs. They're so honest about the struggles they face and crying out to God in that, and so many of the songs I identify so much with. I was reminded of why I started to love their music so much in the first place - many of their songs have had a profound impact on me since last summer. In fact, I'd even go so far as to saying one or two of their songs were what helped me when trying to make a final decision about whether to do year team or not. In particular the song "This is your life" (Chorus: "This is your life, are you who you want to be?") and "I dare you to Move".

As well as being reminded of things past, I was also struck afresh by new things. The lyrics in the bridge of "on fire" really resonated with me last night: "I'm standing on the edge of me, I'm standing on the edge of everything I've ever been before". I do feel like that at the moment. This whole year, but especially through the mullers theology course I feel like, the best way I can describe it is as if I've been climbing up a mountain, and I've just reached a peak and am standing looking as a whole vast expanse opens up before me. The question is though, where do I go from here? Into the valleys ? I was also struck by the lyrics in another song, "Where you gonna go? where you gonna go? Salvation is HERE" Just how, actually, as well as the context of God being in that place last night there's also the whole: 'where else could I go that where I am now, because where else is salvation found but in Jesus ?' I can lose sight of that so easily. Reminded of that Bible passage, John6:60-71, where after many disciples desert Jesus because His teachings are too hard Jesus asks Peter whether He wants to leave too, but Peter replies: "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life".

Anyway, that's a 'brief' glimpse into the way I tend to think deeply about things, especially music ! I hope it might have helped others too, not just been a personal and very cryptic ramble. Last night was rather a trek/adventure in terms of getting to Swansea and back, and a very late night, but worth every minute of sleep I lost !!! (Was also interesting trying to decipher the American and thick Welsh accents we encountered last night - no offence to Americans or Welsh intended.) I was rather on a high last night, but - you know when you do something late at night you can wake up the next morning wondering if it was just a dream ? - I woke up wondering if last night was a dream. But I still had songs going round in my head, I had photographic evidence we'd been there too. It's difficult, when you have these highs to know quite how to come down gracefully. Because, though we might want to, it's not possible to live everyday quite like that. (I'm sure those of you who have been to things like Soul Survivor can identify here?) Although, it was good to have something which took me out of the ordinary and gave me fresh perspective for a while, how do I now hold onto that still, even when the memory of the gig fades ?

Switchfoot !!! and another genius video

I have another genius video for you all to watch ! At Christmas a friend of mine who read physics at Bristol uni told me about this, where a picture of Dr. Emmett Brown from Back to the Future had been added to the photos of physics staff in the department. Apparently it stayed up there for well over a year before any of the staff noticed it ! But this video provides photographic evidence for all those who don't believe that this was actually done. :-)

Also...I'm getting really excited now ! I'm going to Swansea tomorrow, with a couple of the other year-teamers, to go and see Switchfoot play, it's part of their UK tour promoting their new album "Oh! Gravity". It will be an experience as I've never been to such a big gig before, and I am anticipating a late night with not much sleep (as I need to get up early thurs morning) but it should be amazing !!! Will post saying how it went after I get back and have had some sleep !!!

I did have some more serious stuff to blog today, but am not with it enough now. Will go get an early night in preparation for tomorrow and will try to hang onto the thoughts to post on another day.

p.s. This friday I am taking part in the 24-hour famine, to raise money for the work of World Vision in Zambia. I'm doing this together with several others from Devotion, but have been being very disorganised about getting sponsers together. The plan is to have a meal on thurs night (at pastorate for me), then go without food until the friday evening. This is going to be really hard for me, as fasting food is something I find really difficult. But if anyone would like to sponser me, then please get in touch. Thank you !

The Truth?

Just a very quick post (as I don't have time for a proper update right now) to plug a couple of things. Most importantly...this week and the week after the Bristol University Christian Union are hosting a range of events to help people explore the meaning of life, look at what Christianity is really about, and trying to provide a Christian viewpoint on some of the hard questions in life. I'd recommend going along. The programme of events is here, (you will also be able to download the talks from here.) There are talks every lunchtime in the Powell lecture theatre (in the Physics department) and evening events spread between various locations, as well as other events going on in halls. Ask me if you've got any questions.

Also, Livesoc tonight. Ar2 (aka Mandela Bar) in the Bristol Student Union if anyone in Bristol is interested. An evening of live music, provided by some very talented musicians. Doors open at 8, music from 8.30 and is only £1 to non-livesoc members.

Lastly, a couple of rather amusing videos on youtube - one of which I was passed the link to, the other I randomly found while watching the first: "Title of the song" and The ebay song
First, quality of the singing and video isn't amazing (as you'll see), but the song itself is very amusing. Ebay song is a take-off of I think a backstreet boys song. Enjoy and do come along to some of the Cu talks ! :-D

Making an effort vs being a branch

It was a first for me this morning. I went to Sainsbury's to do my weekly food shop as usual. But this morning, to carry my shopping back I used no plastic bags ! I've discovered the heavy duty bags that Sainsbury's sells (50p each) which are designed to be reused for each shop. I had two of these this morning which held all my shopping. They're great. Not only is it good for the environment as I'm not using up plastic bags (which try as I might I always forget to take back to Sainsbury's the following week), but they are also a lot better for carrying shopping as they spread the weight better and don't break easily ! I might start using them for student lunch shopping too.

It's amazing isn't it. Something so simple, yet I've only just started doing it. I think, subconsciously a lot of the time but nevertheless, I very often just assume that if I 'go with the flow' things will just happen, with no effort on my part. If I'm like that, with all that I know, then how can I expect others who know less to be any different ? I've been having a lot of eye-opening experiences this week, in the midst of a hard week. I spoke specifically about recycling bags, but I think this applies to all things. How often do I assume things like, making time for God will just happen, and that living for God will just come naturally? When a lot of the time they don't - there needs to be an effort and a choice on my part. For example, I know that I need to consciously carve time out for God during my week (am hoping that Woodies prayer week will help start me on that road). But on the other hand, although I need to seek God, at the same time, as Jesus said in John 15*, we are branches in the vine, and we can do nothing without Him. There is another sense in which the branch doesn't have to strive, but the sap which flows through it does the work. There's a danger in going too far the other way, and thinking that everything is completely up to me (both traps I have been falling into the last few weeks, if not far longer). So many things (in fact, most things in my limited experience) in this life are about getting the balance between two extremes. Balance is such a hard thing. But then, sometimes just realising you are doing something is half of the battle.

Some of this stuff has come up from my year team review, some stuff from Devotion yesterday, some from Mullers, and some stuff just as I have been mulling things over in my head during the extra time that being ill somehow gives you. It applies to me, but if it challenges anyone else who reads my rambles and gives you food for thought too then I am extra glad. And remember, this all started with a simple plastic bag ! Any thoughts in response ?


*"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."
-Jesus speaking in John 15:5 (Italics mine)

To continue on the theme of the North Wind...

I think that last post must have been pre-empting (if that's how you spell it) my return to Bristol ! It's been so wet and windy...today especially. Living as high up as I do at the moment, means the sound of the whistling wind is amplified, and with windows like skylights, at the moment it sounds a bit like someone has a chainsaw going just outside my window ! Means it's a bit chilly too in the communal areas as the wind whips through the vents !

But no matter. Wind just makes living here fun. I've been back in Bristol about a week and a half. It has been very mixed. As per usual, hard being back but good to see people. Had fun at the weekend as (among various things) on saturday the year team was helping to look after all the kids for a Henleaze Leaders' morning. Very fun, but also very tiring - I was helping with the 3-7s. They have a lot of energy ! (At the end of the morning we were trying to wrack our brains for all the "who can stand really still and quietly" games we could think of) :-) Also on sunday saw a friend who I haven't seen since about last May but who was in Bristol for the afternoon. Was good to have a long chat.

There have also been cold-type things going round the flats. I can't feel too sorry for myself as most of us have gone down with something or other, but I think most of us are on the mend. Just not what you really want to come back to in a new term - yesterday was the first time I've had to take time off from one of my placements due to illness. Due to not feeling amazing this week, I have been investing a fair bit of time in watching dvds on my laptop from bed. On tuesday evening I just finished Narnia (which I was watching in installments). Although I don't really like their portrayal of Aslan (but then again, how would they ever capture Aslan how he should be ?) on the whole I think the film is really well done. Somehow, a film can often bring out things which you didn't notice from reading the book. Primarily from the film I get the senses of how fast things happen, how scared they were (you always think an adventure is exciting until you're in one), how they'd been just sent away from one war only to join in another one. But another sense, is when Edmund meets the White Witch for the first time. She says to him that he's just the kind of boy who could be king of Narnia, and makes a load of promises to him (which she obviously doesn't keep). But it just strikes me that what she offers him is actually what he will actually become anyway through Aslan. Moving the analogy aside, isn't that so often true in real life ? That the things we get tempted by most are just shadows of what we can actually already have access to through Jesus (Aslan) ?

Anyway...enough of rambling...am feeling a little better today so am going to try and catch up with some things and do what I should be doing on a thursday. Didn't that post just feel like a Simpson's episode ? - where it starts with one thing and ends with something completely different, which you know must have been connected somehow in a weird kind of way ? And with that thought... :-D

The North Wind doth blow...

For some reason, at lunchtime today, the topic of the North Wind came up. I was trying to remember how that rhyme about it went (could remember the first bit only). So, oh how I love google, I looked it up. The whole rhyme goes something like this...

"The North Wind doth blow
And we shall have snow
And what will poor robin do then ?
Poor thing.

He'll sit in the barn
And keep himself warm
And hide his head under his wing,
Poor thing."

Having told you that, that isn't really the point of this post. This rhyme about the North WInd reminded me about a fairystory I vaguely remembered bits of, including that it had the North Wind in it. So, again i turned to google and I found the story ! Here is a link to it. It's basically a bit like Jack and the Beanstalk, without the Beanstalk. The writer hasn't gotten it down wonderfully here, as the narrative doesn't flow amazingly well and the Landlady appears to turn into a Landlord halfway through, but this was the only version I could find online. Even if you don't know it and it doesn't bring back a whole load of memories like it did for me, do still have a quick read. :-) Out of interest, had anyone heard this story before ?

Back to Bristol tomorrow !

Shipwreck

...In fact, it's already growing on me as I listen to it more and more. This song particularly struck me last night:

"I built a fortress, with a hundred thousand faces,
I'll keep it safe, with a hundred thousand more.
But these masks are wearing thin, as You draw me in.

I spent my time on the empty and the fleeting.
I spent my life on much less than what I'd dreamed.
But I'm reaching out to You, to make me new.

'Cause I am just a beggar, here at Your door.
I am just a shipwreck here on Your shore.
I come empty handed, ready to see,
Your life in me changing who I've been,
To who I need to be.

You tell my story as You sift between the pages.
I feel redemption in the space between each turn.
Could You take me in Your arms, And tell it just once more?
Could You take me in Your arms, And tell it just once more?"

-Shipwreck by Starfield (from the album "Beauty in the Broken")

Last few days of holiday...

Going back to Bristol this sunday for the start of another term (my first job is stewarding at the Mix on sunday night). And, although I haven't even come back yet, I'm already starting to feel homesick ! It will be good to see people but nevertheless, very strange to come back.

I do also have a fair few things left to do before then, however I did still make time to go to see the film Eragon yesterday with my brother. It's a good film; worth seeing if you like films of that genre (fantasy, action, involving dragons...) I was glad we did go to see it. But it wasn't a patch on the book. They had messed around with the storyline so much and cut out or changed major parts, so much so, that I'm not really sure how they'll be able to do the next part of the trilogy. But although that disappointed me slightly, I can see why they did, as it was always going to be a challenge getting a book of that kind into a 1hr30 film, and they were obviously trying to leave enough time to do justice to some of the big battle scenes (= special effects). It could have done with being LOTR length really. I think I need to see the film a couple more times (probably get the DVD when it comes out), now that I know the basics of the film, so I can appreciate it more for what it is, rather than always be comparing it with the book. And don't let me put you off. Go to see it, regardless of whether you've read the book or not (I think the story just about hangs together even if you haven't). And I'm already looking forward to seeing the film of the second part !

One more thing...I have in the past mentionned a band called Starfield. Well, I also purchased their second album, "Beauty in the Broken" yesterday (with Christmas money). It's a good album. Very different feel to the first one, which I loved immediately, but I think it will grow on me. There are some (in my opinion) good songs and some not so good/not very memorable or original ones, but all in all, worth the £8 I paid for it I think ! And the sentiments expressed in the words are good ones. Gives me more ammunition for quoting song lyrics at whoever reads this blog still :-)